This Thursday, my partner in crime and I invite you to try out the Seasonal offering of Honey crisp Apple Wheat from Shock Top. I’ve said it before, and I know I’ll say it again – I am not a drinker. Heck, back at the beginning of February, I even gave up soda. For good. Yeah, I’m crazy. I know. But let me tell you – this ale is incredible.

I twisted off the bottle top and gave it a sniff. The Partner in Crime seems to find this really offensive, but I smell everything that I eat or drink. It’s almost like some weird compulsion. You don’t get it either? Eh, join the club.

But seriously guys, I have to tell you – this smells like apples. I don’t have the best sense of smell, but one sniff and you know this is an apple based beer. And have you ever tried a Honey Crisp apple? They are the best. Translate that to beer. Seriously.

Here’s how the Partner and I felt about this beer (Me: Pink, Him: blue):

Mouth feel: Light with a great deal of effervescence. 
What? Mouth feel? I don’t get this. LOL. Seriously. It feels like liquid. In muh mouth.

Bouquet: Almost white wine like. with a large hit of apple.
Oh yeah, I almost get the white wine reference. Except this shit is good, unlike white wine. Or any other wine. Blech. Huge hit of apple. Not a typo – not a hint. A BANG. KABLOOEY. 

First taste: The first bite into an apple. You can almost feel the crunch. With a bite of your normal Belgium wheat.
What he said. I mean, seriously. 

Aftertaste. Again this beer gives a slight wine taste going into the aftertaste. Bitter but with the better parts of a fruity white.
   Again, I don’t know about all this wine shit, but I know that it doesn’t leave a gross aftertaste in my mouth. Did I mention beer is, for the everything-except-this part, nasty?

Over all:
The shock top gives a great cure to the boring orange ideas behind all Belgium wheats. The apple pairs well with the smooth yet bitter bite of the brew. The slight introduction of cinnamon really brings everything together. I would give it a 3 out of 5
5 out of 5. 

So, there you go. Buy this beer. It’s Shock Top. It isn’t top shelf, so it isn’t expensive and it’s most likely sold everywhere. But it’s damn good.

By Deacon Gray
copyright March 2013

Let the “Deadmau5” and “Dreams an’ Stuff” of this world come and go; there can be little doubt that the Wicked Wonderland Empire is the premier mind-blower dark industrial psychedelica promotion ensemble of our time. The small city entertainment group originating in Boise, Idaho blew up at venues like “Contour” and “Stir” in Seattle, Washington Friday nights, and wove a cold program of multimedia perfection, with wicked people and a coloring book.

I caught up with “The Redd Queen” Ginger Christainsen between performances with her band the “Lithium Dolls” and with an excited look on her face that reminds me at once of a dangerous Lolita wearing spikes and lace, she settles in for the serious moment. “I’m sure you have questions, but I’m bohemian at heart, always have been, and the wicked come first tonight!”

She retreats to the stage, her bright red hair and baby girl red dress drawing the eyes of the crowd.  The group comes together and jumps right into ‘Psychosexual’. The crowd reacts in a frenzy as The Redd Queen moans passionately on stage, and I know for certain I am in for something new.

Maybe it was the reference to Bohemia, maybe it was the bright attire that seemed to mix insanity with sexuality, but for whatever reason I suddenly felt like I was going to see Jim Morrison or Timothy Leery walk into the room.

Ginger steps out of wonderland for a moment and sits back down at my table after the show; she blushingly smiles at me again. “It’s a good night.”

She would know. Wicked Wonderland has been running parties and club nights for 12 years, has branched out in many other cities, and continues to grow. Trying to explain what Wicked Wonderland  is to someone who has never been to the event is a bit like trying to explain what a particular color looks like to someone who is blind–to truly understand this event, you must participate.

With events like “Blood Bath” and the more mainstream events like the Clockwork Carnival, Wicked Wonderland has built a reputation for freaky, dark, industrial fun.  The Big news, however is that on May 1st, the first compilation album from their new record label will be available for sale.

TRQ: In a few short weeks bands on the label will have songs on the radio & in clubs internationally.

DG: Is that your focus for the future? I know Wicked Wonderland has always seemed to have a lot of projects under way, are you narrowing your focus to music?

TRQ: Doing the record label was just another part of a larger focus of creating a dark subcultural community that is step away from old labels (personal labels that is, such as just being goth or emo or what have you), old scene habits, elitism, and cattiness in order to move forward toward something that is more inclusive, artistic, and respectful.

With the record label we are featuring artists that are truly creating art with their own sound & soul to help embody the voice of this movement. As we continue to add bands to the label, we will be looking for more of exactly that, artistic, painful, seductive, unique, twisted, beautiful.

DG: That sounds complex, but what makes it any better than other events?

TRQ: It is at heart the Ideal of being in love with beauty, art, adventure, and all things unusual that I’ve always run Wicked Wonderland. As I continue on building this empire, these are still the things that drive me on. When people come to a Wicked Wonderland event, they are not going to “another show” they are going to Burning Man, they are rolling in on their Harley Davidson to Sturgis they are having an experience.

DG: That is a pretty big goal. Those events took years to build and had a solid location; your events hit venues all over the west coast.

TRQ:  We are building a community where each individual brings their own unique flair to the army that is Wicked Wonderland; a community based on respect, compassion, unconventional tastes, & fun. I think each community, each city brings its own vital beauty to the events, each new place that holds a Wicked Wonderland event adds its own piece of Wonder Land history.

DG: Being spread out all over must have a lot challenges. How do you keep up?

TRQ: I have a lot of help. With friends like T’Rina and DJ’s like Bones, who are willing to invest a lot of their own time and energy into the events, I never feel like I have too much on my plate, I feel like I am surrounded by some of the most amazing friends a Red Queen could want. I wish I could never everyone who helps me out, the other Queen’s, each one of the Band members, the great Wicked Wonderland army of fellow dreamers, artists and creative souls, but if I started I would leave one of them out somewhere and the Wicked Wonderland Empire isn’t about any one of us anyway.

I think when you really think about it, we are all just the same people we were as kids. Remember how amazing our dreams were about the future back in those days when we hung out at the park? I never stopped dreaming, I never stopped seeing the wonder, and I don’t think I am the only one. The friends of the Wonderlanders have proven that really.

Please visit the home sites to find out what event is coming next!

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wicked-Wonderland-Empire/148230238540832?ref=ts&fref=ts

http://wickedwonderlandempire.wordpress.com/

 
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Reblogged from SA Vampyre News:

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The South African Vampyre Community is steadily evolving and coming into our own. With each passing month we grow larger and stronger - not only in numbers, but also in stature among our international Vampi(y)re Community brothers and sisters. We have developed our own unique culture and community character, complete with educational materials, guidelines, literature, and have even held some small but successful events.

Read more… 12,461 more words

http://merticus.com/vampirenews/2012/12/03/eric-bloodstorm-rip/

1. TRUST AND COMMUNICATION
These are the primary keys to a healthy donor relationship. Trust is built on honest communication over time. Incomplete negotiation is an error, but dishonesty during negotiation is abusive manipulation. Errors are forgivable, manipulation and coercion are not. Negotiation should include the agreement of any pertinent session details like location, degree, duration and all exchange circumstances, regardless if the agreement is for one session or for an ongoing relationship. It is vital that the donor knows their personal boundaries and expresses them clearly. Life doesn’t come with guarantees, when we entrust there is always the chance of that trust becoming misused. Trust is a precious gift that once violated is difficult, if not impossible, to restore

2. VALUE AND WORTH
Both parties are halves of a whole, yin and yang, they are equal in value. Before a donor can wisely transfer energy, they must energize and empower themselves, and be familiar with energy raising techniques, for post-session recovery. Know that you can’t trust and truly respect another unless you trust and respect yourself first. It is imperative to understand that while in fantasy the donor may be merely a slave, a doll, food or whatever drives you; in reality the donor is a valuable gift worthy of respect, recognition and recompense.

3. CONTROL EQUALS RESPONSIBILITY
Both parties must understand that during a session the donor is in a state of diminished capacity and their ability to make decisions is severely compromised during the time of transference. Similarly many vamps are seriously altered during a drawing session, often experiencing trances or delirium, none-the-less it is the responsibility of the dominant to secure third party presence if assistance is possibly required. The donor is entrusting their body, mind and spirit to their partner’s care, which is a sacred covenant. If you are not ready to accept the responsibility of your actions, don’t accept the control.

4. CONSENT
Control is not unilateral; it is an agreed upon exchange issued with consent.
Sex without consent is rape. Drawing without consent is assault.
The words “No” and “Stop” are evident withdrawals of consent! Either partner should be able call the session to a halt at any time.

5. IDENTIFY ABUSE
Any relationship that works for one individual but to the detriment of the other is abusive. In a session, the donor agrees to the draw and transference, concedes control to the dominant partner to be used for their mutual benefit. The exchange must be in some way rewarding (if not pleasurable) to the donor. No matter how careful (or not) partners were, there are no excuses abuse, physical, or otherwise. People who make excuses for abusers are enablers that compound the problem. Donors must recognize abusive partners, permanently disassociate from them, and communicate abuse to community elders who are in a better position to take appropriate action. Victims frequently fear to talk about abuse because of negative response … when this occurs it becomes as if the victim is twice abused … if the victim continues to entrust the abuser, he or she is obviously issuing consent and recanting their original grievance.

We are expected to get up at the crack of dawn and immediately begin our day by tending to our all too human needs and those of our family, hurry to fill the rest of the day with a financially rewarding 8 to 6 job, hurry home to tend to more needs till we finally collapse senseless due to exhaustion. When the weekend approaches we are to fill it with all those tasks we neglected throughout the week; like grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, working on the car, mowing the lawn, painting the fence, visiting the in-laws, paying the bills, balancing the checkbook… In the midst of all this and more, when do we have time for us? It is becoming harder and harder to find time in our daily routines to be introspective, creative, or otherwise release our stress.

We are told repeatedly and in many ways that “Idle hands are the Devil’s tools”, but in fact it is those very idle moments that bring us closer to our source, closer to our higher-selves and closer to our inner nature. Idle peaceful moments allow us to tap into our creative side, to practice introspection, to engage in meditation, to develop spiritual rituals, to day dream, to fantasize, to contemplate possibilities and to just stop the madness. Moments away from Dayside responsibilities are needed, if we seek to develop a healthy relationship with our selves, our conscience, our past, our present and our future. It is important to find this time in our busy schedules, step back and look around; realizing that life is beautiful, nature, human accomplishments, honest smiles, the sky, music, that sent, this color… As we become more and more entrenched in our overwhelming dayside, our burgeoning careers, our dead end jobs, our financial responsibilities, our all too human needs… we resign ourselves to losing touch with our Nightside. These idle moments have become precious treats in our society. We must therefore, strive harder to find these small niches of time to explore our natures, to compare them with others who walk our path, to continue to learn as we experience life thru our own particular window, and ultimately journey toward our dreams.

Too many of us are slaves to our Dayside demands. It really aught to be the other way: our Dayside toils should serve us. It is not an easy turn around to make, but we need to shape our Dayside so that it better serves who we are, what we want to be, and where we wish our dreams to take us. Our Dayside should ultimately enable our Nightside, not hinder it. As Nightkind we are faced with the difficult task of balancing the two. While neither should suffer prolonged or extensively, we do owe it to ourselves to find quiet peaceful moments to simply reconnect, relax and allow our dreams to take form.

Introduction:
Regardless of your individual level of experience you can Open, Discover, Communicate, Develop, and put the Embodied to work with these 6 practices:
1. Introspection
2. Affirmations
3. Visualization
4. Meditation
5. Trance
6. Astral Journey
Tomes have been written on each; my intention is to briefly introduce them as tools to work with the Embodied.

1. Introspection
When reaching within to our Embodied nothing is more important than Introspection. It is important to consider thoughts, words and actions, bringing intuitive responses into a conscious awareness by examining where motivations come from. Stop looking outward for answers, instead turn inward allowing the Embodied to manifest. To face ourselves and the other within – heart, fears, faults and frailties too. To accept and appreciate its ways, our ways; discovering the unique creatures that we are. Our journey is to embrace our true nature, angelic, bestial or demonic, as an intrinsic part of a larger whole claiming our own rightful place in symbiosis. It is through introspection that we make peace with our Embodied becoming one with it.
Journaling is a terrific tool for introspection as we continue self-observation well after memory has forgotten the subtle nuances. We may also try Reverse Introspection, where we begin examining the last occurrence fist.

2. Affirmations
Verbal affirmations are another great tool for personal empowerment, as they enable reaching and developing the Embodied, be it verbally (words / chants), visually or physically. Positive affirmations impress the conscious and the subconscious mind, building confidence, then shaping attitudes and behaviors, as they become belief. Effective affirmations contain elements of certainty, intentions and the positive qualities of our Embodied (this last inclusion is a critical cohesive factor in establishing/sustaining the relationship). Therefore: from affirmation to acceptance, to affection, to cohesive self-esteem.

3. Visualization
Visualization is a simple process, fundamental in most magickal practices and a terrific tool for reaching our Embodied. Visualization begins in The Mind´s Eye as it acts as a magnet drawing to us what we wish, in this case a deeper connection with our Embodied. Visualization is a form of mental enactment or rehearsal, which sharpens the will improving skills, enhancing ability, and refining performance in a variety of areas from sports, to art, to magickal craft. Creative visualization builds mental images in the mind helping focus on the visual qualities of our Embodied while aiming toward any goals and situations we may want to achieve; in itself Visualization is a visual affirmation. The idea is to see and project our Embodied selves at their very best in unity with the Self. Again, it’s as important to visualize what we are certain of as well as our desired intent. Visualizations will help define our Embodied, unite it with the Self through realization and actualization.

Exercise 1: Seeing Beyond Form – Sit or stand, facing a reflective surface, which can be a mirror, a black mirror, a natural water source, a water basin, or another reflective surface, crystal or silver being preferred. There should be a light source strong enough to allow viewing, be it candlelight or a natural source like moonlight. Focus on the reflection intending to connect visually with the embodied and allowing eyes to blink when needed. As vision blurs our reflection begins to reveal what we need to see.

4. Meditation
There are two types of meditative practices. ‘Passive ’ where in stillness a single focus or blank, allows for a connection with the higher self, divinity, or (for our purposes) a connection with The Embodied, and ‘Active’ where we may be engaged in an activity like drumming or dancing allowing our mind to enter a meditative state.
Passive Meditation includes: focused contemplation of auditory or visual stimuli, Yogic sutras, Buddhist or Zen meditation, Pranayama or breath control, etc…

Exercise 2: The Dragon’s Statue – Here we allow the Embodied to surface by achieving inner peace. Getting into a relaxed position, begin with 5 – 15 minutes of complete silence and stillness. Eyes closed, breathing softly with sensory awareness placed on heartbeat, breathing, and inner sounds. The mind should be cleared and thoughts should revert to our primary intent.

Another type is Assisted Passive Meditation where items like: elements, crystals, incense, pyramids, masks, etc… are used to enhance deeper meditative levels. You may want to try incorporating an element or item that resonates with your embodied to further your connection.
Active meditation includes: Reading, looking thru a set of visual images, Shiatsu Massage, repetition of mantras, drumming, flagellation, automatic writing, automatic painting, intoning, chanting, also aerobic exercises like dancing, running, sexual stimulation, etc…
Depending on the individual, there may be a particular activity that triggers a meditative state or connection with the Embodied. Awareness of this is always a great beginning.

5. Trance / Altered States of Consciousness
Voluntarily Altered States of Consciousness can be achieved in a variety of way including: deep meditation via ecstatic dance or drumming, physical pain or sexual ecstasy, as well as journeying or vision questing. Some claim that certain chemicals can open similar doors, but the faster, chemically induced trances are discouraged because they can exceed personal awareness levels, possibly leading to unnecessary physical, mental and emotional damage. During Trance we may obtain sensory experiences, auditory or visual messages and memories that pertain to The Embodied. These can be short simple snapshots, or lengthy visions detailed in complexity.

6. Astralling and Akashic Hall Retrieval
This practice is the culmination of reaching inward. Here we reach onto a different plane where we may interact with the Embodied in unexpected ways. For precautionary grounding purposes, beginners should attempt Astral travel only with a guide or watcher. Voluntary Out of Body Experiences (OBEs), Astral Projection, and Dreaming are forms of Astralling.
Visiting the Astral can help us reach out to astral entities i.e.: elementals, deities, and ancients who may provide information about the Embodied. Here we may also retrieve insight from the Akashic Halls (aka: The Astral Library).
It’s important to differentiate what is truly a message, what we are ‘picking-up’ from the environment, and what is imagination; sometimes the line is fine, whereas not every vision or dream should be interpreted literally.
To further our connection with the Astral tools may be used; to deepen our connection with the embodied, these tools should reflect some aspect of it and may include: Shedding of clothes (skyclad), donning of robes, hoods, masks, runes, jewelry… preparations like baths, unction’s, blessings, and consecrations… using athames, wands, crystals or elements to open portals… Incense, victuals and libations…Affirmations and visualizations … etc…

In conclusion:
Introspection, Affirmation, Visualization, Meditation, Trance and Astral Journey are 6 keys that with dedicated study and practice will assist us to Open, Discover, Communicate, Develop, and put the Embodied to Work!
It is my goal to encourage trial of these practices with focused intent on reaching the embodied and that you share some of your experiences with us.

By Deacon Gray

Graveyard Press staff writer

It is difficult for anyone to grow up knowing they are different. Sometimes those differences are obvious, sometimes they are differences that are more of a feeling the child puts of…or a behavior that unsettles others…often the parents of the children you grew up calling friends. For the Vampiric Child it is no different.

I had several challenges growing up, but rather than spend the article talking about myself, I thought I would talk to some others on the subject. It didn’t take long to find someone to speak too. So I introduce you to my guest today, who…decided to keep his night, and day side name out of the article. “I do not mind sharing experiences, but I don’t often talk about my own history, or my family on the internet. It just doesn’t seem wise.”

So for the sake of this article, I have decided to use the name Irish.

GYP: Irish can you tell me a little about yourself?

Irish: I am twenty seven years old, a male and I have been on the outskirts of the Vampire and Otherkin communities for several years. The trip to joining the community was a long one, but my own child is what really pushed me to explore more of what the community has to offer. Sadly until recently there has been few writers that address the subject of Vampiric and Otherkin children, though I did find some articles on Lady Cg’s “Smoke and Mirrors” website, which helped. I am pretty certain I will buy her book “ Practical Vampirism for a Modern Vampire”

GYP: Will you tell us a little about your own expirences?

Irish: My Parents always told me I was a challenge when I was growing up. At one point my mother decided to read about compare a child sociopath, it freaked her out enough to take me into a mental health specialist, who decided I wasn’t a sociopath, but was a little concerned. In her follow up report the mental health specialist wrote.

“{Irish} has an interest in fires or starting fires (a fire starter), demonstrates little conscience, empathy or compassion for others. {Irish} is sophisticated at lying, manipulative and deceptive behavior, with little of remorse or appears indifference. He has a history of vandalism to property, bizarre writings or drawings which depicts scenes of violence, and acts out in a sexually inappropriate manner, these are all concerning symptoms, but {Irish} shows no signs of avoiding intimacy, such as hugs, does not seem to need immediate gratification of needs, and demonstrates no cruelty or violence against animals, or other children.

{Irish} should have constant parental supervision and continued visitation with a mental health professional.”

Looking back I think I might have been, or continue to be ADHD, with a lot of curiosity. I also had a constant hunger. It was like I was always looking for something. I tried the normal sugar and salty snacks, I went through a period of smoking, then drug use, nothing ever seemed to fill that whole except when I  made people highly emotional. If I could get them angry, or make them cry it made me feel more whole. I know how that sounds, but it was not just negative things, it was also positive ones. I just found it was a lot easier to annoy someone then it was to make them happy. I even started wondering if people generally just like being upset more than being happy.

Eventually I figured out better ways to get that release rather than making the people in life miserable, but it took a while. Oddly I became a chief, food makes people emotional if you do it right.

GYP: It sounds like you had things pretty well under control, but you said having a child changed a lot of that for you?

Irish: When you look back at your own childhood, you never realize just how much you sucked the life out of others. When I was artistically enhancing the neighbor’s house, I expected the neighbor to be pleased, I had no idea the police would be called. I was a little indignant that the neighbor didn’t like my artistic vision if anything. Today I see why the fellow didn’t like my spray painted machine guns on his house.
The point though is that I didn’t see how my own actions drained the people around me. My mother was upset, I felt better about life, if annoyed with their lack of understanding.

When I had a daughter of my own and started to see her actions from an adult point of view, it certainly changed things. My daughter will do things that just seem intent on making her mother insane, and no matter how upset her mother gets, my daughter doesn’t seem overly impacted by the event. “Dad, mom is crying because I colored her new white shoes black with a sharpie. Doesn’t she like black? Can I have a soda?”

Of course she is disciplined, but you can only take discipline so far if there is no real emotional understanding of and issue. And yet, she sees her mother is upset and takes her the soda I just gave her. “I am sorry you are sad mommy. Can I give you a hug?”

GYP: That sounds like…well a lot of kids out there. I don’t think that kind of behavior would say to me that a child is a vampire, or otherkin.

Irish: it shouldn’t. The hard things to deal with aren’t the behavioral issues, those can be dealt with. The hard part is in dealing with the toll the child can take on everyone around them. The most common thing said about my child goes something like this “ Your child is such an angel, all giggles and rainbows, being around her is a delight, but it is just so draining.”

Her grandparents do not want to be around her more than a few hours because “Oh she is a dear, but she is constant. She needs to be around kids more her speed.”

That is not to say my daughter is hyperactive, she isn’t. She is just constant. She feeds by keeping people engaged with her. This can be a real challenge for any adult, but for the child as well. I find myself asking questions like, am I a raising a child attention whore? Will she someday start “cutting” or become a drama queen? How do I deal with issues when I feel from observation and my own history that she is vampiric? How do I teach her to limit herself, at a point in her life when being made to feel different can have such an impact, but also knowing that if I don’t she may well isolate herself by overwhelming everyone who comes into contact with her, in ways they cannot really define?

GYP: Have you found anything that really works well with her?

Irish: actually I have found something that seems to be working. I have started to teach her to be a listener. I have shown her that she can engage people and make them feel great about their relationship with her if she pauses, listens and asks questions. Of course she is still a child, but these skills are really good skills. Already her teachers have noticed a change in her disposition. She listens closely, like she is trying to solve a puzzle, and ask questions that don’t probe as much as invites others to explore their feelings.

It will be an long teaching process, and I can only hope I don’t mess it up. She found a way to be the at the center of people’s attention and emotional struggles without causing them, she can listen and by listening become one of their favorite people. Of course there are still issues. Her grandmother says she feels like she is being psycho analyzed by a seven year old. Which…are the skills I am teaching her more or less. Teaching subtly is going to be more difficult.

GYP: It sounds like you are working hard on the topic. I do find myself wondering if such a thing can work with most kids or of it is just an track that worked in your case.

Irish: Don’t get me wrong, no two kids are the same. We all have challenges we face while trying to raise our kids. Vampiric issues are not perhaps as difficult as say-Otherkin issues, or even a child who actually does have sociopathic tendencies, or many other issues that can be present as the parent is trying to raise their kid’s right. The real key for raising Vampiric children is discovering their needs, helping them to explore their needs in more successful ways. I have spoken to parents who have taken their kids back to their own historical culture. One lady is teaching her daughter about being shamanistic, another who is teaching ancient herbalism and healing to her son. The way you do it is going to have to reflect your own values, and of course finding out what really works.

GYP: Well thank you Irish for your time, and consideration. I hope this article sparks some interest and conversation about dealing with the various issues of childhood vampirism, and by extension child hood otherkin. I would also like to take a moment to thank Madame X of the House of the Dreaming for her insights over the years, and Lady CG for her book Practical Vampyrism for a Modern Vampyre which can be found at Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/Practical-Vampyrism-Modern-Vampyres-Lady/dp/1411642996

Deacon Gray and The Graveyard Press copyright Nov 2012

All rights reserved copyright Heidica Oct 31st 2012

Looking into the Vampiric Pregnancies.

                Since I found out what my condition is called and that there  is a whole community of others like myself out there, I have wanted to look more into the similarities and differences about our condition. Something that I feel strongly about discussing more  is our vampiric pregancies.

                Since I started ‘The Vampiric Female Group, Sisters of the OVC’ group on Facebook, the vampiric pregnancies has been up for discussion more than once. I see some similarities which makes me believe we might want to look closer into this and try to find out about how our vampirism affects us. I have found very little written material about the subject, so I will try to put down in words some of my thoughts , experiences and theories on the matter.

                 Many of us wish to have children, as much as anyone else. Many of us seems to struggle conceiving them and many of us have also lost several, in both miscarriages and stillbirths. I have spoken to so many of my sisters, who tell me about their own miscarriages, the complications during their pregnancies and how they feel their energy needs increase during this time in their lives.

Sad stories about loosing babies, struggling to get pregnant and to keep the pregancy has been shared, cried over in my group many times over. I am proud of my sisters who have openly shared their experiences and grief. Also all the Ladies who have shared with me during personal conversations; many hours and many stories has it been since I first arrived.

I am no doctor or researcher, but I am a healtworker and a mother. At least one of my daughters shows signs of vampirism. I would like for her to have more information about her condition so she might avoid some of the problems I went through when I was younger.

Yes, we discuss and sometimes disagree about what causes our conditions. Is it hereditary, a condition of the soul, or is it a contagion? The theories are many, but we still must live in human bodies, which are affected by what we are and what we do. Could it be our vampirism also affects how we carry and conceive our children? And is it likely our children have a higher risk of developing sympthoms of certain conditions?

Our little darklings..all parents wants their children to be safe and healthy, we are no different in this, though several of us live differently than mundane families.

When I started the first thread addressing this issue in my group, I was surprised to hear how many others seems to have suffered as I have. I was told similar stories over and over,and more roll in as I continue asking others of our kind. In our Norse community it seems every one my sisters have experienced at least one miscarriage, some have also lost their babies late in the last trimesters, which is rarer than during the first.

When I compare the stories and look at the similarities, it seems to me one of the issues might be if a vampiric female is on the low side of the energy balance before getting pregnant. It also seems  that the balance can affect how and if the pregancy will come to term. Personally I have experienced that it is  very important to have a good energy balance in advance when you as a vampire wish to have a child; my three children was hard to carry and I was very ill every time.

My youngest child though gave me fewer complications during the pregancy than the previous two, and I believe that  is because I was more aware of how my energy levels affects my health and made sure to feed regurlarly before deciding to conceive again. It seems to me that we might need to plan our pregnancies a bit more than others. We need to feed and be well balanced which needs to continue through all 9 months. Several speak of increased needs during this time, more cravings and more lethargy than most.

I am convinced this has to do with carrying a being inside you that feeds upon your own energy, and since energy is what we require, perhaps it’s not so strange that we also need more of it during our pregancies. An unplanned vampiric pregnancy seem to have a higher risk of miscarriage, and if this is the case, we need to research more on this to try prevent  future complications as much as possible.

It can also seem  that we share a higher risk of a few unpleasant difficulties during pregnancy, such as anemia, hyperemesis  and hip problems like Sciatica. These conditions should get better once the child is born but for many vampiric females the symptoms linger and go on for years after having a child. I spent several years in a wheelchair because of this condition and 17 years later, I still struggle with it every time I’m low on energy.

Could it be possible to prevent such problems for our future females? I believe it might. We should look more into this topic and try educate ourselves along with the  newly awakened  as much as possible. In the meantime I will continue to write my theorie and thoughts, reaching out to vampires and their partners  who desire children or who might already be pregnant. I apologize for not doing it before.

Before the reader says, “This is common advices for pregancies…”, yes, it is. But it’s also apparent from a vampire’s perspective. Not all are aware how much our energy levels may affect us and our children, though it seems we discover more and more as our community develops and grows.

So yes, these are simple suggestions, but had I known before I might have been able to keep all of my children and avoid such ordeals to get the ones I have. These are my personal suggestions,  based upon my own and other people’s experiences:

1: Plan your pregnancy as much as possible. Balancing your energy levels before conception is very important.

2. Maintain good health with a healthy diet and exercise, as any good doctor would recommend. Take vitamins and folic acid as recommended by your physician. Have your iron levels checked regurlarly. Not all countries offer this for free.

3. Feed regurlarly for a good three months  before getting pregnant if possible, and continue to maintain a good schedule for your feedings through the entire pregnancy. Many of us experience increased need and so might have to feed more often to compensate. For bloodfeeders it’s even more important to use sterile equipment and proper health screenings for donors. You want your little one and yourself to be safe and healthy.

5. Try to keep your surroundings as healthy as possible. Avoid huge changes in your life which could affect you negatively and steal from your energy. This is something all mothers should try for, but it seems especially important for us.

6.Many of us seems to lack the Rhesus factor in our blood for some reason, which is a topic for another time. For those of us who are and have Rhesus positive partners it is imperative to see your physician more often and test regurlarly for antibodies. This might also affect the baby after it is born so its important to know your blood type and to go for regurlar check ups during the pregnancy. Some of you may think that this as an unnecessary reminder, but remember we are vampires of all nationalities and cultures. Not all have the advantage of free healthcare, and might have to plan extra in advance to accomodate the expense.

7. Feed a little extra before the birth if possible. You will need more energy than usual and it might be harder to feed for a while after birth, as many will be isolated and cut off from their normal sources. I won’t go into the birthing process for now, because at the moment too little is known about it, but it seems several of us might need to get extra energy also during the labour.

8. Prenatal depression: It seems to me we might have a higher risk of developing this problematic condition. Several sisters speak about isolation, becoming depressed and paranoid, or finding themselves unable to feed from their regurlar sources or situations which again could make the symptoms even worse. This is a serious condition and I will strongly recommend each and every parent, fathers included, to make the family’s surroundings as stable and calm as possible. As a father you are able to provide much for your partner and help her with everyday chores so she might be able to dedicate more of her energy for herself and the baby. You may also provide her with what she needs a little more often if you should happen to be her donor. Should the mother show symptoms of depression, insomnia, excess stress or nightmares, you might want to see your healthworker or doctor. More severe signs of psycosis and or paranoia should be taken very seriously and help will be needed. There is good treament available in many countries for this condition.

9. Breastfeeding: It is well known that breastfeeding takes energy, and a vampiric mother will use much of hers to provide for her baby. Make sure your diet is healthy and you have that extra fruit and vegetable if possible; feeding more often also seems to be helping many during this demanding time of your life. Baby will benefit from your balance in energy, and so will the Daddy J

10.Enjoy your little one. For many vampires it’s not been promised they will have a child at all. Many of us, both females and males have been loners all our lives. Several struggle with finding the right partner, or donor. Or they experience difficulties of conceiving or carrying a child to full term. I know there will be several who cry inside when they read this and remember their own stories. I have reached out with my energy to each and every one of you who have lost their child or who never got pregnant at all…I know how you feel though I have been blessed myself with three wonderful children. It took a LOT to get them, and I will always grieve for the ones I’ve lost, no matter how they where concieved. I wish for this little recommendation of mine to be distributed around as much as possible, and for some help later to do a questionaire. Cos its so much we dont know yet, and can we help or save just one little darkling and mother with information it is a very good thing.

Thanks to Julia Nadeau for editing it for me.

 Heidica copyright OCT 2012