Nightside Etiquette and Interpersonal Interaction

Posted: Sunday, 23 September, 2012 by deacongray in Articles of Interest, Ask the Vampires, Community Articles

Nightside Etiquette and Interpersonal Interaction

Our Nightside community is rich in culture, beauty, and history. We have
inspired myths, legends, egregores, archetypes, and innumerable forms of
entertainment. Along with our own brand of culture, we also have our own form of
etiquette. Social norms withstanding, we have rules of engagement, society
expectations within our culture, and community standards that span many decades
of our history. From the time that we began organizing into covens, families,
creating havens and staking claims to territories, we created a series of
expectations that govern polite Nightkind society. For the cultured predator it
is a necessity that we remember ourselves and our lineages and always maintain
appropriate behavior.

In Regards to Entering the Haven of Another Coven/House

Havens are those events, locations, rites, and gatherings that are hosted by a
specific house or a grouping of houses. They are places that are regular meeting
places for one or more house. They may have two or three contributing houses but
rarely more than that. These events take a great deal of time, energy, and
effort and should be treated with the respect in which they were created. They
are an offering to our community and should be accepted as such.

Never enter into a rite, gathering, location, or event belonging to a specific
group without first being invited. It is tremendously rude and may be considered
hostile. Events and so forth that are hosted for the open community may be
attended without an invitation. The host or hosts should always be greeted first
and communications should be polite. In succession, each member of the hosting
house should likewise be greeted in a similar manner beginning with the Elder
and following to the next highest ranking members and moving down the line of
succession. Each member should always be treated with an equal amount of respect
and titles should be used where permissible. Each member of your party should be
introduced in kind to each member in order of rank. Chylder should always be
introduced first, followed by the next highest ranking members.

At the point of departure all parties should leave in the fashion that they
arrived beginning with the members and thanking the host(s) last.

In the event that a dispute should arise, do not settle it there. Nor should it
be broadcast to the general public at a later date. All disputes should be
handled within a reasonable time away from the haven and should include none
other than the elder of each house, the next highest ranking member of each
house, and the individuals involved. Those who were not directly involved in the
dispute should not be involved at any point.

In Regards to Entering the Territory(ies) of another Coven/House

Territory is established with a ranking member of a coven begins a family in an
area that has no other families. They may be a secret coven or an open one. In
any event, these covens have ranking claim upon a territory. Their territory
begins where they first lay claim and ends where other covens are established.
Although they maintain ranking claim to the area, it is acceptable for other
members of rank to also establish territory as long as their territory does not
infringe upon the area of another. Territory includes:

· House location and the point between one house and the establishment of

· Havens

· Qabals

· Businesses or other established facilities belonging to the members or
elders of the Houses

· Those who are members of or bonded to ranking members of the House ie
wards, chylder, submissives, concubines, members, and others who are within
their care or employ.

· Personal property of said House and members therein

Upon entering a city always familiarize yourself with the local community, its
members, covens, households, and families. Always be sure to introduce yourself
in person, although emails are perfectly acceptable through a great distance. Be
sure to establish yourself as either Ronin or part of your pledged Family.

In Regards to Establishing Territory Among other Families

Whereas it was once uncommon for more than three families to be within a given
location over a distance of miles, but often under the same umbrella territory
(for instance House Sutekh, House Sukor, House Tiamat may form a confederation
of territory as Leviathon Territory), it is now quite common for many houses to
form in the same geographical location. When more than three houses are within
an area they often form a counsel or alliance of tribunal, a system of settling
disputes and dispensations of territory. They were formed from distinct coven
members of high rank and held in check by a system of election, with one
magistrar over the entire territory. If the territory or the covens were very
large more than one could be elected. It was through them that territory was
established, elders tested, and households and families formed, and disputes

Establishing territory today is not so involved. One must simply be of rank to
establish a coven, have a coven already established of no less than one to three
years (depending upon the area), found to be of good and stable character and
meet the approval of the elders within the established covens. In some cases the
ranking members must also cast lots. It is considered hostile to establish a
family within a territory of others. Elders within that territory must be
approached and the petitioner must be established to be within qualifications
(no community edicts or criminal background) to establish family units. Likewise
only Elders who have no blight or edicts may be petitioned for territory.

Writs of intention, the written notice of the intent to establish territory must
be presented to all recognized elders involved in that area. They must reach an
agreement in order for that unit to become established. As with all things,
Elders should be treated with respect and honor as they are called Elders for a
reason. Always be respectful to them and honor their decisions. They do not make
them rashly.

In the event that two houses disagree on the petition of territory, a Magistrar
may be petitioned to settle the dispute. They are the judiciaries and mediators
of house and territorial disputes.

In Regards to the Consideration of Kitra, Kitral, Chylder, and Wards

Kitra are rarely accompanied to events without a Mradu. Kitra are held in very
high regard irregardless of rank as they are the organizers,counselors, and
“batteries” of the castes. Always maintain personal boundaries with them and do
not approach them without first addressing their Mradu (guardians of Kitra
sometimes referred to as warrior caste). To do otherwise could be considered

Kitral are those that offer their services to us in one facet or another. They
are our donors, those who aid us in ritual, and those that offer their life
force to maintain ours. They are not property and it is VERY bad form to
maltreat them. Be especially aware of the bonds between a kitral and their
vampyre. Never expect to feed, ask to feed, engage them with the intentions to
do so, or treat them as less than human. They should be treated as a member of
rank and their safety within havens should always be a priority.

Chylder and wards are those that have a special bond to ranking members of the
community. They are those that have been taken on as the term says, adopted as a
child is adopted, taught, loved, mentored, protected. Wards and chylder may be
viewed as an extension of their nightkind parents and teachers. They are never
to be disrespected in any fashion. Disputes or complaints should be taken up
with the elder, mentor , or syre. Never take a dispute to those under the
guidance and protection of another member of the community. They should be
handled discretely and within proper channels.

A chylde or ward belonging to Ronin member of rank should be addressed to that
Ronin member, never to the ones beneath him or her. Households or covens not
associated with that member of the community should never be brought into a
personal dispute. It should be settled accordingly and timely.

A chylde or ward belonging to a ranking member or Elder of an established coven
or house should never be addressed in a dispute. The syre or mentor should
always be the one addressed. In the occasion that the syre is an not an Elder
but is of correct rank to syre a chylde or establish a ward, mediation may be
sought involving the house Elders.

Wards or chylder should never be chastised in public nor should disputes be
aired for public viewing. To do so is an act of direct hostility to the mentor
or syre of the person involved.
In the event that wards or chylder separate from their host, they should do so
respectfully and with dignity to both parties. They should never involve other
members of the community, other covens, or bring details of the separation to
the public eye. Writs of protection and separation should be issued to the
community with the intent to declare either relationship or disassociation. They
should be done in proper and appropriate manner, never personal attacks.

In regards to Disputes Between Two Houses

Personal disputes will happen. There are measures in place so that these
disputes do not infect the rest of the community. Two individuals that can not
reach resolution appeal to the Elders of their specific houses. If those Elders
can not reach resolution they may appeal to a third party, the Magistrar of that
area. Ranking members include Elders or those one level below them in line to
become an Elder and are the only ones that may bring disputes to a Magistrar for
settlement. Seconds may only appeal to Magistrars with the permission of their

In Regards to Internet Disputes

Unfortunately this is the age of online slander and it seems to happen
voraciously among our kind. Before issues evolve to this state , all steps
should be taken to mediate and settle disputes. In the event that issues can not
be settled, appropriate behavior should always be utilized.

Public/Private forums. Disputes should never be aired across message boards or
sent out as a public or private group message. They should be handled
accordingly between the people involved or within a mediated scenario. This
includes blogging, personal journals that are open to the public viewing or any
viewing that is not singular in nature.

Should a dispute occur between community members or the chylde, ward, or kitral
of community members all attempts should be made to handle it peacefully and
with respect to both parties in the same manner as any other type of dispute.


Aislin Ni MorRhiaghan,
Calmae, HotD

© Aislin Ni MorRhiaghan, July 2008

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