Archive for Sunday, 11 November, 2012

By Deacon Gray

Graveyard Press staff writer

It is difficult for anyone to grow up knowing they are different. Sometimes those differences are obvious, sometimes they are differences that are more of a feeling the child puts of…or a behavior that unsettles others…often the parents of the children you grew up calling friends. For the Vampiric Child it is no different.

I had several challenges growing up, but rather than spend the article talking about myself, I thought I would talk to some others on the subject. It didn’t take long to find someone to speak too. So I introduce you to my guest today, who…decided to keep his night, and day side name out of the article. “I do not mind sharing experiences, but I don’t often talk about my own history, or my family on the internet. It just doesn’t seem wise.”

So for the sake of this article, I have decided to use the name Irish.

GYP: Irish can you tell me a little about yourself?

Irish: I am twenty seven years old, a male and I have been on the outskirts of the Vampire and Otherkin communities for several years. The trip to joining the community was a long one, but my own child is what really pushed me to explore more of what the community has to offer. Sadly until recently there has been few writers that address the subject of Vampiric and Otherkin children, though I did find some articles on Lady Cg’s “Smoke and Mirrors” website, which helped. I am pretty certain I will buy her book “ Practical Vampirism for a Modern Vampire”

GYP: Will you tell us a little about your own expirences?


Irish: My Parents always told me I was a challenge when I was growing up. At one point my mother decided to read about compare a child sociopath, it freaked her out enough to take me into a mental health specialist, who decided I wasn’t a sociopath, but was a little concerned. In her follow up report the mental health specialist wrote.

“{Irish} has an interest in fires or starting fires (a fire starter), demonstrates little conscience, empathy or compassion for others. {Irish} is sophisticated at lying, manipulative and deceptive behavior, with little of remorse or appears indifference. He has a history of vandalism to property, bizarre writings or drawings which depicts scenes of violence, and acts out in a sexually inappropriate manner, these are all concerning symptoms, but {Irish} shows no signs of avoiding intimacy, such as hugs, does not seem to need immediate gratification of needs, and demonstrates no cruelty or violence against animals, or other children.

{Irish} should have constant parental supervision and continued visitation with a mental health professional.”

Looking back I think I might have been, or continue to be ADHD, with a lot of curiosity. I also had a constant hunger. It was like I was always looking for something. I tried the normal sugar and salty snacks, I went through a period of smoking, then drug use, nothing ever seemed to fill that whole except when I  made people highly emotional. If I could get them angry, or make them cry it made me feel more whole. I know how that sounds, but it was not just negative things, it was also positive ones. I just found it was a lot easier to annoy someone then it was to make them happy. I even started wondering if people generally just like being upset more than being happy.

Eventually I figured out better ways to get that release rather than making the people in life miserable, but it took a while. Oddly I became a chief, food makes people emotional if you do it right.

GYP: It sounds like you had things pretty well under control, but you said having a child changed a lot of that for you?

Irish: When you look back at your own childhood, you never realize just how much you sucked the life out of others. When I was artistically enhancing the neighbor’s house, I expected the neighbor to be pleased, I had no idea the police would be called. I was a little indignant that the neighbor didn’t like my artistic vision if anything. Today I see why the fellow didn’t like my spray painted machine guns on his house.
The point though is that I didn’t see how my own actions drained the people around me. My mother was upset, I felt better about life, if annoyed with their lack of understanding.

When I had a daughter of my own and started to see her actions from an adult point of view, it certainly changed things. My daughter will do things that just seem intent on making her mother insane, and no matter how upset her mother gets, my daughter doesn’t seem overly impacted by the event. “Dad, mom is crying because I colored her new white shoes black with a sharpie. Doesn’t she like black? Can I have a soda?”

Of course she is disciplined, but you can only take discipline so far if there is no real emotional understanding of and issue. And yet, she sees her mother is upset and takes her the soda I just gave her. “I am sorry you are sad mommy. Can I give you a hug?”

GYP: That sounds like…well a lot of kids out there. I don’t think that kind of behavior would say to me that a child is a vampire, or otherkin.

Irish: it shouldn’t. The hard things to deal with aren’t the behavioral issues, those can be dealt with. The hard part is in dealing with the toll the child can take on everyone around them. The most common thing said about my child goes something like this “ Your child is such an angel, all giggles and rainbows, being around her is a delight, but it is just so draining.”


Her grandparents do not want to be around her more than a few hours because “Oh she is a dear, but she is constant. She needs to be around kids more her speed.”

That is not to say my daughter is hyperactive, she isn’t. She is just constant. She feeds by keeping people engaged with her. This can be a real challenge for any adult, but for the child as well. I find myself asking questions like, am I a raising a child attention whore? Will she someday start “cutting” or become a drama queen? How do I deal with issues when I feel from observation and my own history that she is vampiric? How do I teach her to limit herself, at a point in her life when being made to feel different can have such an impact, but also knowing that if I don’t she may well isolate herself by overwhelming everyone who comes into contact with her, in ways they cannot really define?

GYP: Have you found anything that really works well with her?

Irish: actually I have found something that seems to be working. I have started to teach her to be a listener. I have shown her that she can engage people and make them feel great about their relationship with her if she pauses, listens and asks questions. Of course she is still a child, but these skills are really good skills. Already her teachers have noticed a change in her disposition. She listens closely, like she is trying to solve a puzzle, and ask questions that don’t probe as much as invites others to explore their feelings.

It will be an long teaching process, and I can only hope I don’t mess it up. She found a way to be the at the center of people’s attention and emotional struggles without causing them, she can listen and by listening become one of their favorite people. Of course there are still issues. Her grandmother says she feels like she is being psycho analyzed by a seven year old. Which…are the skills I am teaching her more or less. Teaching subtly is going to be more difficult.

GYP: It sounds like you are working hard on the topic. I do find myself wondering if such a thing can work with most kids or of it is just an track that worked in your case.

Irish: Don’t get me wrong, no two kids are the same. We all have challenges we face while trying to raise our kids. Vampiric issues are not perhaps as difficult as say-Otherkin issues, or even a child who actually does have sociopathic tendencies, or many other issues that can be present as the parent is trying to raise their kid’s right. The real key for raising Vampiric children is discovering their needs, helping them to explore their needs in more successful ways. I have spoken to parents who have taken their kids back to their own historical culture. One lady is teaching her daughter about being shamanistic, another who is teaching ancient herbalism and healing to her son. The way you do it is going to have to reflect your own values, and of course finding out what really works.

GYP: Well thank you Irish for your time, and consideration. I hope this article sparks some interest and conversation about dealing with the various issues of childhood vampirism, and by extension child hood otherkin. I would also like to take a moment to thank Madame X of the House of the Dreaming for her insights over the years, and Lady CG for her book Practical Vampyrism for a Modern Vampyre which can be found at Amazon


Deacon Gray and The Graveyard Press copyright Nov 2012