Archive for Tuesday, 13 October, 2015

Sexual Vampire, or sex addict?

Posted: Tuesday, 13 October, 2015 by deacongray in Uncategorized


(c) 2015 all rights reserved deacongray and thegraveyardpress

Part two of: What the hell is a sexual vampire?

How do I know if I am a Sexual Vampire, or just a perv with sexual hang ups?


Psychological studies show that most people have some sexual hang up. It’s a reasonable conclusion when you consider that the western world, in its own way, has so many sexual hang ups that in order for you not to have one, you would be considered a pervert in most places. Of course that doesn’t really answer the question.

So describes sexual addition as “best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on the family member’s increases as the disorder progresses. Over time, the addict usually has to intensify the addictive behavior to achieve the same results.”-


They go on to talk about how it normally manifests in excessive masturbation, pornography, sex lines, on line liaisons and the like. Very few “Nympho-maniacs” actually go out chasing sex with physical partners on a regular bases. Indeed, the secrecy involved typically prohibits this kind of interaction.

The numbers are spooky though when you talk about sex addiction. 55% of convicted sex offenders are consider sexual addicts, and 71% of pedophiles are considered sex addicts. Sex addiction is a serious thing, and not to be taken lightly. If you are so compulsory that you have nearly no control over your behavior, than there is a problem and you should seek professional help.

This is not to say all sex addicts are criminals, indeed, while the numbers above seem high, the number of sex addicts who are criminals is pretty low. Most of them are happy with just watching porn, or flirting around on line.

So how is a Sexual Vampire different?

Well the compulsion part could say there is a psychological component to it. Indeed some of my inquiries have been into the idea that sexual vampirism could be normal vampirism combined with sexual addiction. While I cannot close the book on that line of thought, I tend to view it differently and here is my reasoning, for what it is worth.

A sexual addiction tends to manifest in people with early un-healthy sexual activity. This could be something like child molestation, or rape. It could be playing doctor with kids where things went too far based on the influence of an unhealthy participant in the normal sexual development of an individual.

Sexual vampires, while not excluded from this group, do not seem to have it as their common history. In the engagements I have had with various sexual vampires, the common thread isn’t a sexual assault, or abuse, it tends instead to be early interest on their own part, often combined with a sense of spiritualism that isn’t typical for a young child. While sexual activity itself might not be involved, the sense of it is present from a young age.


So one of the things that separates the two are those early influence. Of those this can be easily muddled because what happens if you are a undeveloped sexual vampire who gets molested? In the end you cannot really put up a clear dividing bar between the two based on this dynamic. However, I saw a trend between those who claimed sexual vampirism without any reported sexual assault.

The major difference is actually in the intimacy side. Sexual vampires tend to not have intimacy issues at all. Indeed they tend to be more intimate, some even empathic toward others, and they take great are not to cause harm, or hurt people emotionally.

Like I have said before most sexual vampires don’t even get into physical relationships with their donors, but do have stable home lives with a loving family. Instead the vampire tends to take care of the donor in a nearly fraternal manner, never crossing the lines, but always acting as a friend and sheep dog to their trusted family and friends.

Are there bad sexual vampires? Bad is subjective, and so the answer is…yes. When you really dig down to the core of a sexual vampire, they are still predatory. All vampires are. Some sexual vampires start to believe their own hype, and see uses for the skills that come naturally to them.

Manipulation is a huge part of every ones world, but a sexual vampire without ethical standards, learns how manipulation is much more powerful than people think, and they tend to put it to use in building their own ego, and position. If you see a sexual vampire that is developing a large string of donors, and is dishonest about it, than you are facing someone who has started to use their skills for intentions passed their need to feed.


If manipulation is huge, self-confidence or ‘the presence’ can be a monster to deal with. People who truly believe their own hype, tend to drag people into their wake. We all like to think we are not easily drawn into these things, but look around you. How many flock to one banner, or event even though there are a lot of reports of misbehavior? Anyone can learn to develop self-confidence, or at least project it, but a sexual vampire who uses manipulation, self-confidence and other such skills to draw people in and use them isn’t doing good things. That doesn’t mean they are evil, but even good people can do evil things.


If sexual vampires are real, why haven’t we heard of them much historically?

The Idea of the Romantic vampire is actually fairly new in literature. Sexual vampires aren’t Dracula, they aren’t sparkling perpetual nineteen year olds. Yet, how would you know one if you saw on in history? Are there figures in history that had some of those tell-tale, commonalities?

Making those links as if they were definitive is pointless, but we can look back at the culture, the people and subjectively conceive of such things being present, if not known, throughout history.

The Marquee De Sade, a well-known player and lover of women, his exploits are the things of novels and dreams. Was he a sexual vampire? Most likely not, but that doesn’t change the behavior, or the pattern of various people’s behavior that could be considered the actions of a sexual vampire.

If I were to place the Marquee into my categories of sexual vampires where do you think he would fit? For me he was the ‘tempter’ a wicked man who by most accounts wasn’t all that physically attractive, and yet he managed to draw the wicked little girls and boys of court to his chambers and into types of sexual play that was basically unmentionable in his time. Does this make him a vampire…no, but it shows how such a creature could interact and remain out of mention.

It is my believe that the countless examples of sexually progressive people in history provides perfect cover for a vampire whose very delights are the things an inquisition, or puritan council might find objectionable. So for me it is not a question of whether they can be found in history, it’s how can they be identified with in history?

More in part 3



What the Hell is a Sexual Vampire?

Posted: Tuesday, 13 October, 2015 by deacongray in Uncategorized

(c) 2015 deacongray and Thegraveyardpress

So what is a sexual vampire?

Cult of Ecstasy

Years ago I sat down with a group of self-described sexual vampires, and as a forum we discussed the concepts around those we have called so many names. Be it Sexual Vampire, Tantric, Pranic, Eros, Succubus or Incubus the names are less important than the understanding of what it is that drives us to act as we do. Yet the names have some level of importance as well, if only to help us understand how we are the same.

With that said I will cover the names, but only in as much as they are useful to know, and with the understanding that there are those who have used various other names, or the same ones with different meanings. Yet, these are what I consider the common definitions, and I admit they don’t always suit everyone. Indeed, some people all out balk about the very words used, but we will discuss that as we go.


Prana: Pranic Energy; is the Sanskrit word for ‘life force, or vital principle. In the vampiric community it has come to describe two things essentially, the life force that is consumed by a vampire, or the sexual energy, literally the raw essence of life to create. In the early years of the vampire community, while people were looking for terms that sounded cool and mystical, many used the term Prana as a catch all for all Psychic vampires. This was altered after the term’s Psychic or PSI vampirism came more into standardized usage. Today many of the older generation of vampires still use the term Pranic energy, though the use shifts between Life Force, and sexual energy.

Of course the term Prana truly means the prime mover of all activity and movement in the universe, basically, if you want to “ go nerd” with me for a moment Prana is “The Force” made up of what is collectively known as the five Vayus of which Tantra is one. Now rather than get into the details of Hindu vedic texts and trying to train you in the use of the chakras, it will suffice to simply say that in my view, this is akin to calling all plant based drinks tea, even if you had coffee. IN other words, its simply a very very broad term.

Succubus and Incubus: according to Wikipedia An incubus is a demon in male form who, according to mythological and legendary traditions, lies upon sleepers, especially women, in order to engage in sexual activity with them. Its female counterpart is the succubus.

Those who consider themselves Incubus and Succubae, claim to feed from the physical act, or sexual biological connection to their donor. This could be in many different ways, but all of those ways include some level of physical contact. In itself, the term isn’t really a bad one, but there are overtones of the mythology that’s included with it.

You find amongst many of these, an fascination with Lilith, (in some legends queen of the succubus) but in reality I find them to be fairly rare. When you really sit down and talk to people who make these claims, often there is a psychological stimulation that they are seeking.


Tantra: Tantric Vampire; Tantra once again goes back to the Hindu belief system. “It is an ancient Hindu tradition of beliefs and meditation and ritual practices that seeks to channel the divine energy of the macrocosm or godhead into the human microcosm, in order to attain siddhis and moksha.”

Tantric sex is basically the idea of using this focus to channel sexual pleasure in seeking the divine. When someone claims to be a tantric vampire, they are basically taking the longest possible way to feed possible, and many claim it is the most pure and full filling. Make no mistake however, tantra takes years of practice and skill to develop, it is not a vampire type, it is a practice. I find it personally to be the most wildly inappropriate use of a term, because it is so specifically not vampiric.

While it might be a skill a sexual vampire develops, in truth calling oneself a tantric vampire is akin to calling oneself a yoga vampire. Ultimately it is ridiculous because if you are a master of the art, you don’t need vampirism to take in the energy that is already around you through the cosmos.


Eros Vampire: Eros Type; this is a term I coined some time back. I wanted to find a term that encompassed all sexual vampires and what better in my mind than the god of love and chaos? You see in my view the Eros god himself fed (after a fashion) on human love, desire, and sexual need and of course Chaos. However, as an all-encompassing concept, it really only worked if you pushed the oval peg into round slot.

Breaking down the various Greek archetypes to match with various feeding techniques was useful, but it was still just an overly flowery way of saying basic things. ‘Satyr/Nymph’ symbolizing the perpetual pursuit, or in plain terms the ‘flirt’ is just such an example. Still people like the terms because they are familiar and have some level of romance inherent in them.

The Sexual Vampire: is a bare bones straight out, call it like it is, definition. I started using this term because I was tired of the flowery romantic, or mystical angle we have been applying to all vampiric forms. The push toward a secular, science based system to define and categorize the vampire, put them in their correct place, and put them away for further research has failed in almost every case.

The term sexual vampire ignores both the romance, and the scientific approach. It is an understanding of the base of the creature and what they are about. There are still many different types of sexual vampire, that part never changes, but what doesn’t change is that at the base of it, sex has to be involved, either in action, intention or thought. The term however immediately gave offense in some quarters.

“It sounds too much like ‘sexual predator’ and leaves a bad taste in people’s mouth and memories!” while this might be true for some, I don’t think that applies to everyone. While all vampiric action is in itself predatory by definition, that actions of the individual determine if one is acting as a predator or not.

What are the feeding types?

As I said before, at the core of it all of them have one thing in common, that’s sex. Regardless of the means in which you engage in it, whether purely physical, or totally psychological, the end result is that some element of sexual energy has to be involved. There is no such thing has chocolate orgasmic sexual feeding. There are however break downs, though these are simple explanations I will provide, they pretty much cover the concepts. There are basically two categories, but each one breaks down further. These categories are Biological and Energy Feeders for lack of better terms.

Biological feeders

Coitus feeding: This is literally the physical act of having sexual intercourse. While we cannot be certain if there is a energy element to this, we have seen in rare cases that all other types of feeding sexually aren’t sufficient from to those who claim this type. However, this is also the most commonly mis-represented type of feeder. Often with a little time and acceptance of forsaken personal completion the act of feeding can be accomplished without physical contact. That said, there are those who find anything other than the very act itself, isn’t doing anything.

Many will claim that these feeding types are merely sexually addicted, or using the archetype to play the field and in many cases this might be true. As with all vampirism, the issue that we are looking at self-reporting, and that type of information is often flawed.

Organic Fluid Feeding: Well this gets to the sticky heated mess of it all. The basics of it are that you need the sexual fluids, whether that be in the form of semen, sexually excited blood, menstrual or vaginal fluids, these feeders claim that without it, they cannot sustain themselves appropriately.

These feeders tend to be the most secretive about their feeding, for obvious reasons, and I have only ever met a few. Perhaps in their own way they are purist of the feeders as the act often brings shame, or disgust from both donors and those outside of their circles, even from within the vampire community itself. Though, those who claim to feed from sexually excited blood are perhaps the most commonly accepted sexual feeder from this group.

Sexual Energy Feeders

Of these the most common, and least invasive of the group are the those I simply call the ‘Flirts’. Flirts don’t have to actually have sexual contact in any way, merely evoke a sexual response in others. This doesn’t have to be a response focused on their own form. A ‘flirt’ can be in a situation where they draw another to a strip club, or watch a sexy movie, or for that matter sexualize another in a manner that draws those hints of sexual desire from others.

These feeders are around more often than one might know, though, they might not know of their own behavior, and you often seem them as the people who just happened to be at any party were the sexuality becomes like a perfume in the air, each person become more energized and less reserved, though later they couldn’t always tell you why they had acted with such abandon.

The ‘Tease’ is another very common type. The tease is the one who makes you wiggle in your seat. They tend to end up in your dreams, or haunting your desire on some evening when you are alone and don’t have to account for your secret desires.

When around one of these feeder types, they can seem totally bland most of the time, but emerging as someone you really just want to do naughty things for the sake of their own rewards. They tend to be masters in the art of sensuality, while not often allowing the manifestation of your desires.

In the end of an encounter with one of these types, you will often find yourself energized, feeling deliciously predatory and often on the hunt. These types are great if you need a little boost in your own love life, as they tend to re-direct your desires toward a suitable substitute like your mate, who, you might find, is in exactly the same mood for some odd reason.

The Tempter: While they might seem a lot a like, the Tempter is distinctly different from the tease because their goals are different even if many of their methods are the same. The Tempter doesn’t just want you turned on, they want you to explore dark places. They combine sexual fears and fantasy, to lead people to places they might never explore on their own.

While not likely to lead you into something you didn’t already desire, they are not afraid to push you a little down a path you secretly wanted to explore. They have a way of seducing your desires towards things they excite and yet scare you, and perhaps that is the key to their allure. If you find yourself suddenly clad in leather being spanked, and loving every second of it, it might be natural, or it might be that you were drawn away from your romance books at the ends of a talented ‘Temper’ who can feed from that fear and delight.

These can be the most dangerous however. Simply because one has a fantasy, doesn’t mean it should be explored. A smart ‘Tempter’ understands that if they draw someone into something that is psychologically unhealthy, it could cause damage. There have been, and are those out there who will push and push until you no longer feel excited and a little scared, but actually reach into self loathing.