Archive for the ‘Editorials’ Category

Oddly enough, I have seen a bazillion different awakening stories and awakening theories, however none of these actually emulated what it was like for me, what I felt nor what I thought, so… As I found a way to express this finally, I thought I would put it here in the hopes that it may one day help someone else…We already know the old cliche that most of us felt… removed… set apart…  different from those around us, but what does that truly mean?

 

For me, it meant that there was a great sense of loneliness, as if I were perpetually trying to fit me, a square peg, into the rest of society, a round hole.  I perpetually felt as if something that had been missing were JUST out of reach…  Seconds away from my grasp and moving away each time I moved towards it…  Making me feel even MORE isolated from those around me…  I truly felt out of step to the point of feeling out of place and time.Among other things I felt, the internal argument of whether this was a curse or a gift began to roil through my heart and mind, as if I were literally on the verge of a civil war with my own being.  I remember thinking “why is this happening to me?  why can’t I just be… normal?” Though I was being taught how to handle things, this argument raged through my mind, ripping at my heart until my whole world was in a tailspin…

 

No matter how intellectual I was, no matter how much I learned, it was as if the words never seemed to be there to properly describe what I was going through…  Words just simply failed to fully illustrate what was raging through the very core of my being. Questions burned through my mind as to whether I was truly going through something or if it were all in my head.  Add to this, the doctors couldn’t seem to find anything other than the usual compliment of things, so there was no true way to know exactly WHAT was happening to me.  No medical/scientific explanation could be readily found.

 

After a couple of botched attempts, followed by laughter, harassment and the usual bullying came a deep, hesitant and always yearning question… “who can I share this with? why doesn’t anyone else feel the way I do?  why isn’t anyone else going through this?”…  Which, in its turn, added to the original sense of loneliness and being set apart…

 

It was becoming a vicious cycle…

 

WHEN I began to truly accept what was going on with me, I began to feel as if I were a new creation wearing a costume…  That costume being the old self…  Same body, different being altogether…  Which became another thing which I couldn’t discuss with anyone…  This did not, however, add to the sensation of loneliness.  Instead, it added something else.  It added a sense of a closeness to my Spiritual Path, though it was truly a separate being altogether.  I began to feel as if what I was going through was part of something…  well… grander…  As if the eyes of the Universe itself had suddenly fallen on me, watching which way I would go with this new-found sense of being part of some grand design…

 

Remember ladies and gentlemen, I was a 13 year old boy going through this…  For me to be set apart to this point was confusing, heart-wrenching and exhilarating all at one time…

 

When I finally accepted that this was what I truly was, it was almost as if this unknown weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  As if everything FINALLY began to make sense…  It has been truly a long and exhilarating journey, once I accepted this IS what I am.

 

I AM vampire.  I WAS born this way.  In this knowledge, no matter who doubts, scoffs or disbelieves, I am strong, secure and comfortable.

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Being a Skeptic with out Being Jerk

Posted: Thursday, 25 December, 2014 by deacongray in Articles of Interest, Editorials, Uncategorized

By Seraphyna K. LeonidBanksy

(c) 23 Dec 2014 for Seraphyna K Leonid

I’ve noticed that some people aren’t aware of how to be skeptics and how to expect people to have given their identity any thought without being assholes. There’s a big difference between being a jerk and holding the community, and members therein, to a higher standard.

Someone may strike you as fluff upon their first post in a group. Now, an asshole instantly jumps on them with memes and comments about how ridiculous they are. A skeptic asks them questions like “how did you figure out you were otherkin,” “how did you find your kintype,” “why you do believe X”. See the difference?

If you want to lul about actual fluff, keep it to groups created for that purpose. Don’t drag down groups made for the purpose of productive discussion with “fluff hunting”.

When you flame people because you think they’re fluffy or whatever, you’re being an asshole…not a skeptic…and you aren’t helping the community, you’re ultimately harming it.

You know why so many otherkin these days are anti being questioned? Because they’ve had bad experiences therewith and usually from the same people.

There’s a difference between thinking the community as a whole should raise the bar and expect rational thought from people and attacking people. There’s a difference between being logical and being a dick.
If someone is truly delusionally fluffy, then sure break out a meme or two and wait for them to be removed from whatever group. Tag the admins and try to explain reality in the interim.

So yeah…big difference between just being an asshole and holding people to a higher standard/trying to improve the community and a few of you need to learn it and need to stop feeding each other and encouraging each other and resisting learning how to properly behave in such a way as to not be an ass and contribute to the community instead of giving it a reputation for flaming and hostility.

The Moon Light Path is Lunacy!

Posted: Thursday, 18 December, 2014 by deacongray in Articles of Interest, Community Articles, Editorials, Uncategorized

 

By Ezra Canidea13_Frosted-Coyote-Watching

GYP-©Dec 14 2014

“In my mind I can hear the wind in the trees. With my eyes closed I can still see the light of the moon paining the inside of lids a pale white. The smell of snow is in the air, though I know it has been years since any snow has fallen here. I’m home with my pack, and our energy is magic that flows through the trees, over the brooks and boulders. We are creatures of the wild, even though I am a creature of the couch.”

I found that things some call the Therian path many years ago. I was a child of fourteen or fifteen, and just kept finding myself drawn to the natural world. During storms I wanted to scream into the wind, or jump on my horse and ride toward the mountains. My father said I had the spirit of a Coyote and I agree with him in a manner of speaking.

I tell you this not because I think I am some Shaman with a coyote totem, or  skin walker, but it is how I found myself. Something inside me simply feels the inner coyote. Call it what you want to, a delusion, desire, or simply my way of dealing with life. I don’t honestly care what others say about it.

I named this article “The Moonlight Path is Lunacy” because while I have been wandering around the Therian and Otherkin, groups I mostly hear just that. Lunacy.

We do not physically shift. If those who tell me that some do shift physically would be so kind as to show me some physical evidence that isn’t contact lenses or computer graphics I might change my mind, but so far that hasn’t happened. I don’t have a need or desire to disprove another’s experience in how they feel, or what they believe spiritually, but if you are going to claim a physical shape shift into an animal, your words aren’t going to cut it.

In my spirituality we are all creatures of energy, creatures of many life times, a journey that is based on the idea of spiritual growth, not a human desire to be unique. Spirituality isn’t about who can make the most ridiculous claim, or what animal you think you secretly are. You are a human being with the energy of the universe locked inside you.

I say this because people need to stop fooling themselves and actually try to learn and grow. You won’t be able to explore great minds and thoughts if you are too busy looking on the internet for just the right fake teeth, or some program that lets you make digital pictures as you imagined yourself as a wolf.

There is no Alpha Wolf in nature I had read, and I believe that is true, so stop thinking that by claiming to be one, you somehow are more impressive than others. It only shows that you don’t really understand nature that well. Wolves don’t howl at the moon, they aren’t brave, or strong noble wild creatures, they simply are a species that has developed a way to survive. All humans do the same thing.

I am not saying that your energy isn’t touched by the wild. I believe it is. My energy was once part of a coyote, after all energy can never be destroyed, only changed, and I believe that in each change it takes something of what it was previously with it.

It would be foolish to say I know everything that is out there spiritually. I don’t know about dragons, or pixies, other things people in these groups talk about. I only know that we need to explore and learn, both inside ourselves and in the teachings of others. We need to do it with a discerning mind and allow our spirit guide us toward the growth it needs.

 

Sources: http://io9.com/why-everything-you-know-about-wolf-packs-is-wrong-502754629

http://www.wolfscience.at/en/aboutus/team/friederikerange/

 

By Deacon Gray

GYP © 2014 DecKid facepalm Black and White

It’s the holiday season and Christmas cheer is abound.  No better display of the Christian path can be displayed than the ones seen on Luciferians groups all over facebook.
“Satanic worshipers???? You shouldn’t be allowed to be on Facebook”.-FB post Charlene Kennedy
“You’ve Lost the battle. Jesus Wins. Read the book.”-FB Post Marilyn Covington

“Accepted Jesus into your heart and allow the darkness to be washed away by his light!”-FB Post Jason Hagans
“Let the angels of the Lord carry you from this abomination! Just like the beautiful angels bible says about.” –Rev Joan

Intrigued by such comments I decided to try to contact some of the people who had sent such wonderful season’s greetings.  Oddly enough, not many replied back for some reason. It seems making nasty posts to Facebook…I mean holiday greetings, weren’t something people wanted to share with a larger community.

I was beaten, I had given up hope on finding one of these holiday well wishers, when a Christmas Miracle took place I found someone who agreed to speak to me about her faith and why she feels that Luciferians deserve to be harassed by “Good Christian Women”

Not wishing to be harassed herself, she asked that her name be withheld from the article, so I decided to give her a anonymous name, she agree to. So starts my interview with Lady Lilitu,

GYP: Lady Lilitu, are you certain you are ok with this anonymous name?

LL “Yes, I always liked the name Lilith, it reminds me of that pretty dark haired bartender on “Cheers”

GYP:  Nice, would you tell us all a little about yourself?

LL: Certainly, I’m a life time member of my church, a home garden enthusiast and full time grandmother.”

GYP: Lady Lilitu, I found you because you posted on a few Luciferians groups, and I have to say those posts seemed pretty aggressive. “Spreading your satanic lies is a monstrosity! If you want to burn hell, that’s your choice, but don’t Sheppard the innocent with your filthy lies!”-Lady Lilitu

LL: There are a lot of young people who visit these sights out of curiosity. That’s pretty normal, but their hearts have not been hardened against the sweet lies of the damned. It is far too easy for young ones to hear these messages and have doubt creep into their hearts. They ears are plugged with the wax of  Satan’s own busy bees.
If they don’t have the chance to hear The Word, than it is all good Christians obligations to sing gods good graces.

GYP: Do you honestly feel that being mean on a facebook site will draw the innocent? Has it been successful for you?

LL:  I say hard things with love in my heart. Jesus said “god helps those who help themselves, but blessed are those who speak to my children”

GYP: could you tell me what line and verse that’s from? It seems like a mash up of a phrase from Shakespeare and a misquote from Luke.

LL: The Lord knows my heart, that’s all that matters.

GYP: wouldn’t he also know the hearts of the Luciferians and in knowing them have the sole place to judge them? “Judge not least you be judged, and so by your judgments shall you also be judged.”

LL: that is a urban legend, Jesus never said that. He spoke against the sinners, and told them not to sin anymore

GYP: Matthew 7:1-3 KJV Judge not, that ye be not judged.

For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

LL: If you want to misquote the bible to me, we can end this interview young man!

 

And sadly the interview did end right there. Lilitu, or Lilith mother of Demons, felt the interview was “a trap set by the Lord of The Flies”, and that she was fairly certain that I wasn’t a real Deacon.

I assured I was indeed Deacon Gray, and that the Lord of The Flies was a novel by William Golding, who I am certain wasn’t setting a trap for her. She declined to respond further.

Before you all start getting up in arms please remember a few things. This Lady Lilitu, yes I was mean in tricking her to use the name of a supposed demon, wasn’t at heart a Christian as much as she was a Christian at Ego.

Good people and bad can be found in any faith. Nasty people are in every community. I have friends who are Christians who have as much if not more understanding of the bible than most of those who you have heard of on TV or Radio and they abhor the direction some people take Jesus’ words and ideals. I also know some Luciferians who think the whole path is based on the idea of getting them laid.

In the end it is the holiday season, and no matter what faith you follow please try to remember kindness. Eat Drink and be Merry, for as Jesus said…”I’m totally hanging at Baccus` house on New Year’s Eve dude! He has kicken pad in Denver!”

 

 

On Donor Sessions

Posted: Wednesday, 28 November, 2012 by deacongray in Community Articles, Editorials

On Donor Sessions
By Madame X ©2006

1. TRUST AND COMMUNICATION
These are the primary keys to a healthy donor relationship. Trust is built on honest communication over time. Incomplete negotiation is an error, but dishonesty during negotiation is abusive manipulation. Errors are forgivable, manipulation and coercion are not. Negotiation should include the agreement of any pertinent session details like location, degree, duration and all exchange circumstances, regardless if the agreement is for one session or for an ongoing relationship. It is vital that the donor knows their personal boundaries and expresses them clearly. Life doesn’t come with guarantees, when we entrust there is always the chance of that trust becoming misused. Trust is a precious gift that once violated is difficult, if not impossible, to restore

2. VALUE AND WORTH
Both parties are halves of a whole, yin and yang, they are equal in value. Before a donor can wisely transfer energy, they must energize and empower themselves, and be familiar with energy raising techniques, for post-session recovery. Know that you can’t trust and truly respect another unless you trust and respect yourself first. It is imperative to understand that while in fantasy the donor may be merely a slave, a doll, food or whatever drives you; in reality the donor is a valuable gift worthy of respect, recognition and recompense.

3. CONTROL EQUALS RESPONSIBILITY
Both parties must understand that during a session the donor is in a state of diminished capacity and their ability to make decisions is severely compromised during the time of transference. Similarly many vamps are seriously altered during a drawing session, often experiencing trances or delirium, none-the-less it is the responsibility of the dominant to secure third party presence if assistance is possibly required. The donor is entrusting their body, mind and spirit to their partner’s care, which is a sacred covenant. If you are not ready to accept the responsibility of your actions, don’t accept the control.

4. CONSENT
Control is not unilateral; it is an agreed upon exchange issued with consent.
Sex without consent is rape. Drawing without consent is assault.
The words “No” and “Stop” are evident withdrawals of consent! Either partner should be able call the session to a halt at any time.

5. IDENTIFY ABUSE
Any relationship that works for one individual but to the detriment of the other is abusive. In a session, the donor agrees to the draw and transference, concedes control to the dominant partner to be used for their mutual benefit. The exchange must be in some way rewarding (if not pleasurable) to the donor. No matter how careful (or not) partners were, there are no excuses abuse, physical, or otherwise. People who make excuses for abusers are enablers that compound the problem. Donors must recognize abusive partners, permanently disassociate from them, and communicate abuse to community elders who are in a better position to take appropriate action. Victims frequently fear to talk about abuse because of negative response … when this occurs it becomes as if the victim is twice abused … if the victim continues to entrust the abuser, he or she is obviously issuing consent and recanting their original grievance.

Idle Hands Are The Devil’s Tools

Posted: Sunday, 25 November, 2012 by deacongray in Community Articles, Editorials, Uncategorized
Idle Hands Are The Devil’s Tools
By Madame X © 2008Western culture expressly wants us to be kept busy. We aught to be hard workers, be industrious, occupy our free time with productive hobbies, seek partners who are active and dynamic, never waste a waking minute, never be idle, and never daydream.

We are expected to get up at the crack of dawn and immediately begin our day by tending to our all too human needs and those of our family, hurry to fill the rest of the day with a financially rewarding 8 to 6 job, hurry home to tend to more needs till we finally collapse senseless due to exhaustion. When the weekend approaches we are to fill it with all those tasks we neglected throughout the week; like grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, working on the car, mowing the lawn, painting the fence, visiting the in-laws, paying the bills, balancing the checkbook… In the midst of all this and more, when do we have time for us? It is becoming harder and harder to find time in our daily routines to be introspective, creative, or otherwise release our stress.

We are told repeatedly and in many ways that “Idle hands are the Devil’s tools”, but in fact it is those very idle moments that bring us closer to our source, closer to our higher-selves and closer to our inner nature. Idle peaceful moments allow us to tap into our creative side, to practice introspection, to engage in meditation, to develop spiritual rituals, to day dream, to fantasize, to contemplate possibilities and to just stop the madness. Moments away from Dayside responsibilities are needed, if we seek to develop a healthy relationship with our selves, our conscience, our past, our present and our future. It is important to find this time in our busy schedules, step back and look around; realizing that life is beautiful, nature, human accomplishments, honest smiles, the sky, music, that sent, this color… As we become more and more entrenched in our overwhelming dayside, our burgeoning careers, our dead end jobs, our financial responsibilities, our all too human needs… we resign ourselves to losing touch with our Nightside. These idle moments have become precious treats in our society. We must therefore, strive harder to find these small niches of time to explore our natures, to compare them with others who walk our path, to continue to learn as we experience life thru our own particular window, and ultimately journey toward our dreams.

Too many of us are slaves to our Dayside demands. It really aught to be the other way: our Dayside toils should serve us. It is not an easy turn around to make, but we need to shape our Dayside so that it better serves who we are, what we want to be, and where we wish our dreams to take us. Our Dayside should ultimately enable our Nightside, not hinder it. As Nightkind we are faced with the difficult task of balancing the two. While neither should suffer prolonged or extensively, we do owe it to ourselves to find quiet peaceful moments to simply reconnect, relax and allow our dreams to take form.

By Heidica Northernlight and Edited by  Julia Nadeau

All rights reserved copyright Heidica Oct 31st 2012

 

Looking into the Vampiric Pregnancies.

 

 

                Since I found out what my condition is called and that there  is a whole community of others like myself out there, I have wanted to look more into the similarities and differences about our condition. Something that I feel strongly about discussing more  is our vampiric pregancies.

                Since I started ‘The Vampiric Female Group, Sisters of the OVC’ group on Facebook, the vampiric pregnancies has been up for discussion more than once. I see some similarities which makes me believe we might want to look closer into this and try to find out about how our vampirism affects us. I have found very little written material about the subject, so I will try to put down in words some of my thoughts , experiences and theories on the matter.

                 Many of us wish to have children, as much as anyone else. Many of us seems to struggle conceiving them and many of us have also lost several, in both miscarriages and stillbirths. I have spoken to so many of my sisters, who tell me about their own miscarriages, the complications during their pregnancies and how they feel their energy needs increase during this time in their lives.

Sad stories about loosing babies, struggling to get pregnant and to keep the pregancy has been shared, cried over in my group many times over. I am proud of my sisters who have openly shared their experiences and grief. Also all the Ladies who have shared with me during personal conversations; many hours and many stories has it been since I first arrived.

I am no doctor or researcher, but I am a healtworker and a mother. At least one of my daughters shows signs of vampirism. I would like for her to have more information about her condition so she might avoid some of the problems I went through when I was younger.

Yes, we discuss and sometimes disagree about what causes our conditions. Is it hereditary, a condition of the soul, or is it a contagion? The theories are many, but we still must live in human bodies, which are affected by what we are and what we do. Could it be our vampirism also affects how we carry and conceive our children? And is it likely our children have a higher risk of developing sympthoms of certain conditions?

Our little darklings..all parents wants their children to be safe and healthy, we are no different in this, though several of us live differently than mundane families.

When I started the first thread addressing this issue in my group, I was surprised to hear how many others seems to have suffered as I have. I was told similar stories over and over,and more roll in as I continue asking others of our kind. In our Norse community it seems every one my sisters have experienced at least one miscarriage, some have also lost their babies late in the last trimesters, which is rarer than during the first.

When I compare the stories and look at the similarities, it seems to me one of the issues might be if a vampiric female is on the low side of the energy balance before getting pregnant. It also seems  that the balance can affect how and if the pregancy will come to term. Personally I have experienced that it is  very important to have a good energy balance in advance when you as a vampire wish to have a child; my three children was hard to carry and I was very ill every time.

My youngest child though gave me fewer complications during the pregancy than the previous two, and I believe that  is because I was more aware of how my energy levels affects my health and made sure to feed regurlarly before deciding to conceive again. It seems to me that we might need to plan our pregnancies a bit more than others. We need to feed and be well balanced which needs to continue through all 9 months. Several speak of increased needs during this time, more cravings and more lethargy than most.

I am convinced this has to do with carrying a being inside you that feeds upon your own energy, and since energy is what we require, perhaps it’s not so strange that we also need more of it during our pregancies. An unplanned vampiric pregnancy seem to have a higher risk of miscarriage, and if this is the case, we need to research more on this to try prevent  future complications as much as possible.

It can also seem  that we share a higher risk of a few unpleasant difficulties during pregnancy, such as anemia, hyperemesis  and hip problems like Sciatica. These conditions should get better once the child is born but for many vampiric females the symptoms linger and go on for years after having a child. I spent several years in a wheelchair because of this condition and 17 years later, I still struggle with it every time I’m low on energy.

Could it be possible to prevent such problems for our future females? I believe it might. We should look more into this topic and try educate ourselves along with the  newly awakened  as much as possible. In the meantime I will continue to write my theorie and thoughts, reaching out to vampires and their partners  who desire children or who might already be pregnant. I apologize for not doing it before.

Before the reader says, “This is common advices for pregancies…”, yes, it is. But it’s also apparent from a vampire’s perspective. Not all are aware how much our energy levels may affect us and our children, though it seems we discover more and more as our community develops and grows.

So yes, these are simple suggestions, but had I known before I might have been able to keep all of my children and avoid such ordeals to get the ones I have. These are my personal suggestions,  based upon my own and other people’s experiences:

1: Plan your pregnancy as much as possible. Balancing your energy levels before conception is very important.

2. Maintain good health with a healthy diet and exercise, as any good doctor would recommend. Take vitamins and folic acid as recommended by your physician. Have your iron levels checked regurlarly. Not all countries offer this for free.

3. Feed regurlarly for a good three months  before getting pregnant if possible, and continue to maintain a good schedule for your feedings through the entire pregnancy. Many of us experience increased need and so might have to feed more often to compensate. For bloodfeeders it’s even more important to use sterile equipment and proper health screenings for donors. You want your little one and yourself to be safe and healthy.

5. Try to keep your surroundings as healthy as possible. Avoid huge changes in your life which could affect you negatively and steal from your energy. This is something all mothers should try for, but it seems especially important for us.

6.Many of us seems to lack the Rhesus factor in our blood for some reason, which is a topic for another time. For those of us who are and have Rhesus positive partners it is imperative to see your physician more often and test regurlarly for antibodies. This might also affect the baby after it is born so its important to know your blood type and to go for regurlar check ups during the pregnancy. Some of you may think that this as an unnecessary reminder, but remember we are vampires of all nationalities and cultures. Not all have the advantage of free healthcare, and might have to plan extra in advance to accomodate the expense.

7. Feed a little extra before the birth if possible. You will need more energy than usual and it might be harder to feed for a while after birth, as many will be isolated and cut off from their normal sources. I won’t go into the birthing process for now, because at the moment too little is known about it, but it seems several of us might need to get extra energy also during the labour.

8. Prenatal depression: It seems to me we might have a higher risk of developing this problematic condition. Several sisters speak about isolation, becoming depressed and paranoid, or finding themselves unable to feed from their regurlar sources or situations which again could make the symptoms even worse. This is a serious condition and I will strongly recommend each and every parent, fathers included, to make the family’s surroundings as stable and calm as possible. As a father you are able to provide much for your partner and help her with everyday chores so she might be able to dedicate more of her energy for herself and the baby. You may also provide her with what she needs a little more often if you should happen to be her donor. Should the mother show symptoms of depression, insomnia, excess stress or nightmares, you might want to see your healthworker or doctor. More severe signs of psycosis and or paranoia should be taken very seriously and help will be needed. There is good treament available in many countries for this condition.

9. Breastfeeding: It is well known that breastfeeding takes energy, and a vampiric mother will use much of hers to provide for her baby. Make sure your diet is healthy and you have that extra fruit and vegetable if possible; feeding more often also seems to be helping many during this demanding time of your life. Baby will benefit from your balance in energy, and so will the Daddy J

10.Enjoy your little one. For many vampires it’s not been promised they will have a child at all. Many of us, both females and males have been loners all our lives. Several struggle with finding the right partner, or donor. Or they experience difficulties of conceiving or carrying a child to full term. I know there will be several who cry inside when they read this and remember their own stories. I have reached out with my energy to each and every one of you who have lost their child or who never got pregnant at all…I know how you feel though I have been blessed myself with three wonderful children. It took a LOT to get them, and I will always grieve for the ones I’ve lost, no matter how they where concieved. I wish for this little recommendation of mine to be distributed around as much as possible, and for some help later to do a questionaire. Cos its so much we dont know yet, and can we help or save just one little darkling and mother with information it is a very good thing.

Thanks to Julia Nadeau for editing it for me.

 Heidica copyright OCT 2012