Posts Tagged ‘facebook’

When does enough become enough?

Posted: Tuesday, 20 December, 2011 by deacongray in Community Articles, Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Beware, so long as you live, of judging men by their outward appearance – Jean de La Fontaine.

Jean de La Fontaine has been gone for over 300 years, but perhaps he reached immortality just with that one sentence. Surely it is as true today as it was when spoken?

And if we do not judge on outward appearance, what then should we judge? Their words, actions, feelings? Absolutely. Of course, this can lead to problems because behavior is often contradictory.

So tell me when, exactly, is enough actually enough?

We’ve all been there – an interesting discussion is started online and along comes someone to spoil it. Perhaps we have even been guilty of this ourselves, for we are not perfect. And an occasional outburst from one who is normally calm because again: we are not perfect? We can forgive the occasional lapse in judgment.

But what about those for whom these outbursts are not just occasional? What if their only contributions are inflammatory, meant to stir up trouble? Where do we draw the proverbial line? And what about those who maniacally bounce back and forth between calm, but crazy and hostile, but more crazy?

Is there a point at which we, reasonably intelligent adults that we are, say enough is enough? At what point do we, as adults, stop accepting excuses for behavior and let the guilty know it is no longer allowed? How many warnings must be given? At what point do we move from handling with care to enabling?

There are those among us who want to a take a hard hand approach and make people toe the line or get the boot. There are also those of us who want to coddle the troublemakers, treat them with kid gloves because, “that is just who or how they are” or “they have ___________ (insert any random mental/medical issue”.

So, that makes it somehow OK to rant and rave, threaten and bully? Call someone childish names, tell them to die? I say no, absolutely not. Especially when the person doing the name calling, threatening, telling people to die is someone in some seat of power. Whether they have their own community forum, Facebook group, or just serve as an admin in some capacity within the community these people are seen as role models. And it is time for them to start acting like it, damn it. Since the majority of our community groups, on Facebook or off, are designated 18+ only, we need to demand our community members start acting like adults. No more hate-filled spewing of threats, no more name calling. Many of those within this community have been bullied because we are “different”; why are we allowing fellow community members to turn around and perpetuate that cycle by bullying others? Three strikes has always seemed fair to me. I propose all groups enact a three-warning rule: I will give you three warnings. If you cannot act as a mature adult should with three warnings, you’re out of the group. Find another playground to piss in because you’re no longer welcome in this one.