Archive for December, 2011

An Interview with Julia Caples, Lady DarkRose

Posted: Saturday, 31 December, 2011 by nicolajones in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

The vampire community has many notable names and faces, and a history that is complex and the different segments of community often do not know of the individuals who contributed to other areas of the community’s evolution.  If you came to the online vampire community after 2005, you might never have heard of Julia Caples.  And for those who were active online and off prior to then you might have wondered what happened to this notable figure who seemed to vanish from the communities conscious.  I have known Julia, better known as Lady Dark Rose, since 2000.  We met online in a yahoo discussion group, and when she opened House Sable Brahmin I was invited to join.  Julia became my mentor and best friend, and has shaped my personal evolution since then.  We met for the first time in the fall of 2001, when I journeyed to her home in Pennsylvania.   She has been a constant presence in my life ever since.  Recently Julia returned to the internet and working on the Tradition that she founded.  The editors at the Graveyard Press asked me if I could interview Julia, a unique position for any writer, and a challenge to step outside my role as best friend and present questions to her that the community would find interesting, while doing so in an unbiased way considering my involvement in many of the projects that Julia is working on.  I hope I have been successful and that you enjoy the following interview.

Nicola: You have said that you first realized you were a vampire in the seventies as a child, can you describe what that felt like and how you became aware?

Julia: I actually became “aware” that I wasn’t like anybody else that ever knew or even knew of when I was a child in the 70’s. I was raised in a devout Southern Baptist household. I didn’t have access to things like vampire movies, books/stories, pictures etc. I did however have a very basic understanding/knowledge of what the literary/folklore vampire was, thanks to other children talking about those “forbidden” subjects in my youth group at church. I knew that even though I didn’t actually have many of the traits of the literary/folklore vampire, I knew enough about myself (I spent a lot of time alone. Other children instinctively knew that I was not like them. Which suited me just fine; I wasn’t very keen on the idea of spending time with them) to know that I hungered for blood. As well, I was already feeding off of people’s life force and knew enough to recognize that I was doing that (I may not have called it feeding off of life force, but I knew that I was somehow inhaling other people’s “souls”) and that when I did it (which was all the time), I felt unbelievably good. I realized early on that when I would ” inhale people’s souls”, that I would achieve a sense of clarity about all things. I realized that I could understand things about life that even my parents (which in retrospect, is not saying much) were not able to comprehend. So, in conclusion, I didn’t really believe that I was the kind of vampire the kids from church described. Yet I knew that I was something very similar. So, I used the word vampire to describe myself to myself. For some reason I needed to be able to label what it was that I felt (the blood hunger), as well as what I instinctively did. Which was “inhale human souls”. Perhaps, I needed to label myself so as not to feel completely alone.

Nicola:  You have also said that you first publicly described yourself as a vampire in the early eighties, what was your coming out of the coffin like and where and  to whom did you come out to?

Julia:

My first time as well as any other subsequent times in the mid to late 80’s when I first publicly described myself as a vampire, was in a nut shell, no big deal. I didn’t announce it in any kind of media. I did choose to tell a few select people. Since I started drinking human blood in the 80’s, it was sometimes necessary to explain to those who I fed from what I believed my true inner nature to be. Even at the time in my life, I was adept at hunting. I was able to pick out the type of person who would be able to accept what I was telling them about myself as well as be sympathetic to my need/desire to feed from them. Sometimes it wasn’t necessary to explain any of that to my donors. Since I usually chose to drink human blood during a sexual encounter (that can be many different things). I learned very quickly and early on that a sexual element only adds more power, more oomph, more everything to the consuming of human blood. It was far more convenient and much easier to feed this way. More times than not, my donors complied with my request for their blood without any explanation on my part.  I know that for me, the ability to “enchant” those around me was/is an innate ability. I never had to “work” at it, still don’t. In fact, for me, everything about my vampiric nature came rather easily. I never had any physical or moral struggles with my true nature.

Nicola: What were your early influences?

Julia:  As I stated previously, I didn’t really have any influences. As a child, I was forbidden to watch vampire movies, read vampire books, or have any access to anything vampiric or occult in nature. As a pre-teen and as a teenager, I lived on the streets, or I was fighting for my survival (non vampiric), or I was giving birth to children and in general, living in one long nightmare. I didn’t have any inclination to seek out anything that had to do with vampires (movies, books, folklore) besides; everything I needed to know about being a “vampire” was already inside of me. On some level, I already knew that. I did however meet a witch (a Wiccan) when I was in the midst of what would be the start of one horrific nightmare after another. I was 12 years old when the Wiccan came into my life. She opened my mind to all kinds of possibilities. Not vampiric ones, but the door to the occult (and its many paths) and new possibilities had been unlocked for me. I had always been drawn to all things Occult (especially those things considered “dark” in nature) as a child.

Nicola: You were well known in the nineties as public figure for blood drinkers, what all media did you do and what were your intentions for doing so?

Julia: Yes, I was very well known in the nineties as a vampire (blood drinker).  Side Note: Notice that I am not using the term Sanguinarian, that is a label created by the OVC. I’m not sure why we needed a new word to describe ourselves? Perhaps, to many in the community (mostly the OVC), Sanguinarian sounds less predatory, less “dark”. Blood drinker seems more honest, more raw, more in keeping with our predatory natures. Make no mistake; if you are a vampire, you are a predator. You can live in denial all you want. Bottom line, vampire equates predator, on some level. Sorry, long side note. By the early nineties, I really had no idea what/who was really out there in regards to any kind of structural vampire group/society/community. I came to realize that I am probably not the only real living vampire in the world. So, I started my own vampire magazine (no internet yet), in order to find and bring together others like myself. In doing that, I opened a flood gate. Every kind of person, vampire or not, came out of the wood work. I was inundated with magazines, books, illustrations, original writings, and requests from vampire researchers and so on, to share with them my insights and life story. I was approached by an author to be interviewed for a chapter in his book. After the book was published and even before (due to people like Marty Riccardo, a very well-known and respected vampire researcher and writer, singing my praises), the media couldn’t seem to get enough of the “normal” looking mother who is a vampire and a witch. I did daytime talk shows in the USA and in Europe. I was in the book ‘Something in the Blood’. I was interviewed in many vampire magazines. I was interviewed in local “what’s happening” magazines. I did TV shows about the mysterious and unknown things in our world. I spoke at various vampire gatherings. My intentions for doing so much media here and in Europe, started with noble intentions. I sincerely wanted to find the others like myself and help them. Which I did indeed accomplish. Along the way, I became self-important with all the attention I was receiving. I made poor choices, in part, because of my status as a vampire celebrity. Towards the end of my celebrity status, I had come back to myself and was only interested in finding and helping others like myself.
Nicola:    Can you tell us what all shows you appeared on and in which year?  What were those experiences like?  What was the worst show you did in your opinion?  What  was your favorite show that  you did?

Julia: I will do my best to tell you all the shows that I appeared in, not in chronological order. I am fuzzy about a lot of the media that I did. I moved a lot and lost quite a bit of my records and/or tapes, copies of print media and so on that I had of the different media that I did.

The Ricki Lake Show-1994?

(Author’s Note: This show was my first introduction to Living Vampires, I remember watching it in 1994 when it aired).

A German Documentary (I can’t remember the name of the production company) 1994

Black Pearls Documentary-1993 or 1994

Belfast Radio (in Ireland) 1995?

Here’s Johnny (Late night talk show in London) 1997?

Exploring the Unknown-2000

Penn & Teller: Bullshit-2004

The Bill Cunningham Show-2011

Tons of local radio shows in Florida and  San Francisco, California.

These are the only one’s that I can think of off the top of my head.

For the most part, most of my experiences with doing these shows was positive, especially the documentaries. The worst show I did was The Ricki Lake Show…bar none. Ricki Lake and her “people” were rude and condescending. They were very unprofessional (in my opinion). My best experience was doing The Here’s Johnny Show in London. I got paid a lot of money for starters. I was treated like a sane person, not a delusional wanna be vampire/role player. I got to see fabulous London and hang out with that nights other guest on the show–Richard E. Grant, (from ‘Warlock’ and ‘Bram Stoker’s Dracula’ movies fame). He told me that he thought what I had to say was fascinating. As well as the awesome crew from the show. It was as all around awesome experience. I would also like to mention the media that I turned down. I turned these down mostly because I thought that they would do the community more harm than good.

Dateline-1994 or 1995 (they wanted to interview me about Roderick Justin Ferrell. If you don’t know who he is, you should. Go look it up. My thoughts at the time were that having the Vampire community associated with him would be a very bad thing.)

David Letterman-1996 (I decided that nothing good could possibly come from being interviewed by David Letterman. I don’t really have a concrete reason, it was mostly a feeling.)

The Howard Stern Show-1996 (The same reasoning that I stated for the David Letterman Show, I applied to doing the Howard Stern Show. I couldn’t possibly see what good could come of it. Even though I was asked to do these shows during a time in my life when I was self-absorbed, I was able to look outside of myself enough, to see the mistake it would have been to do these shows.)

Montel Williams-1996 (For this show, I probably would had done it. However, the timing was off. I had too much already going on, media wise.)

I mention these shows for two reasons. One, these are or were, media shows with audiences in the millions. I would have reached a lot of people. Two, I wonder now if I had done these shows, what differences would they had made for the community as well as in my life.

Nicola: You had a chapter about you in the book Something in the Blood, can you tell us about the experience of being interviewed for the book?

Julia: I was chapter 13 in the book ‘Something in the Blood’. My over all experience being interviewed for the book was really a good experience. The authors, Jeff Guinn with Andy Grieser, were very open-minded (at least that is how they seemed to me, during my interview) and very funny (I really like funny people). They seemed genuinely interested in understanding who/what I perceived myself to be. I remained in close contact with Jeff Guinn for many years after the book was published. By doing that book, I was able to reach out to quite a few people (vampires) and help them to have a better understanding about themselves and hopefully unlock some doors for them and make available knowledge that was previously unavailable to them.

Nicola: What all print media did you contribute to or be interviewed for? What about radio? Do you have any interesting experiences to share?

Julia: I will try to remember all the print media and radio that I did. Like I previously stated, most of the information is coming straight from my memory. I moved a lot and had most of my belongings stolen from me on several occasions. Amongst those belongings that were stolen, most of the media that I did for the community were taken. Okay, here it goes…off the top of my head:

Weekly World News (no longer in publication as of 2010…a moment of silence)

Java (October-Special Horrible Issue-Arizona)

Journal of the Dark (several times)

V.I.E. (several times)

Something in the Blood

Vampyre Magazine (Issue #1)

Not “print” media, but I did quite a few online interviews over the years (mostly in the beginning of the OVC).

Belfast Radio (this was an awesome interview).

Tons of local radio in Florida and  San Francisco,California
Nicola: You published your own underground Magazine the Dark Rose Journal; can you tell me about the experience and what it taught you?

Julia: Yes, I published (which means, especially in the beginning, that I edited, wrote all the articles and fiction, did all the illustrations and physically put the 80+ pages magazine together myself…no matter what Jeff Guinn’s assumptions when he interviewed me) a Vampyre Magazine–‘The DarkRose Journal’ in the early to late 90’s. It was, to my knowledge, one of the first international zines that were dedicated to “real” living vampyres. I am using the “Y” spelling of the word vampire now because that is how I spelled it in my magazine (back in the early 90’s). My reasons for doing that were two-fold. First, spelling it with a “Y” is a much older spelling of the word. I just liked the way it looked better than the modern version. Second, that was my way of differentiating “real” vampyres from role-players, life-stylers and club kids.  Anyways, I’m not implying that I was the only one or even the first magazine to explore “real” living vampyres from the perspective of a “real” living vampyre. However, I was certainly among the group that was the early trailblazers of the “real” vampyre Community. My time publishing ‘The DarkRose Journal’ was an explosion of growth, spiritually, socially and physically. Like I said earlier, after I published the first issue of the Journal, Vampyres came into my life from all over the world, from under every rock, out of every cave and yes, out of every coffin (sometimes literally). I was bombarded with “vampires” who needed my help, who wanted me to join them (that means all kinds of different things), who wanted to “set me straight” about what a vampire really was, those who wanted to join me, and so on. It also brought out the fanatic Christians as well as it brought out people who truly thought that they were real vampire hunters. The overall lesson I learned from publishing ‘The DarkRose Journal’ was that there is a real need to find others like myself and form some kind of bind and help each other in whatever way we can.

Nicola:  You ran an early incarnation of a house, called the Dark Court, what was your motivation for it and can you tell me about the inception and evolution of the group?

Julia: Yes, after the first issue of ‘The DarkRose Journal’ was published, quite a few local “vampires” came out of their hiding places to meet me. They always wanted to meet at the local Gothic club. Upon meeting certain individuals, it became clear to me that they were looking for someone to open certain “vampiric” doors for them. So, even though I personally didn’t think that any of them were “real” living vampyres, I created a Vampyre Coven-The Dark Court. They seemed to be craving this kind of closeness with me. Since, we became a very close knit group of vamps, it made my then current situation (I had 2 small children to take of) a whole lot easier. We, The Dark Court, met at night (I know, big shocker) after my children were asleep or during the day (another shocker…I had little kids, I had to get up during the daylight hours) when my children were at school. These meetings were, being completely honest, more for my benefit than for theirs. I had my own non vampyre human buffet to feed from, whenever I wanted. I tried to impart my vampiric knowledge to them, as well as help them unlock previously locked doors that opened up into the many realms of the Occult. I don’t think that they absorbed much of what I gave them. I think that they mostly liked making the rounds in the vampire/goth culture, while being seen with the local vampire celebrity. We, The Dark Court, did do a lot of public Vampyre ceremonies in a few different venues. It was quite mesmerizing from the audience’s perspective, at least that’s what we were always told. We raised money performing these ceremonies and used the revenue to help local charities. So, I amend my previous statement. The Dark Court didn’t mostly exist for my benefit. We did indeed help others which in turn helped us to grow and evolve as individuals. So, I guess it was a win, win scenario. They got what they wanted (status of some kind, at least in their minds) and I received what I wanted/needed.

Nicola: What made you create House Sable Brahmin and what was your inspiration for the Cimmerian Illuminati?

Julia: Initially, I was asked to create a House for the Sanguinarium by another well-known member of the community (not well known then, but well known now). The Sanguinarium was just taking off when I created House Sable Brahmin. I had just gotten married right around the same time the house was being created. My husband, at the time, helped me create House Sable Brahmin. It was actually more important to him than it was to me. I was just doing it because those I was close to at the time asked me to join them by creating a House. I kept my House very simple (it was real life and online). It initially consisted of Elders (Yes, I was an “official”-had a public ceremony in NY and everything-Adept Elder in the Community. I was even given a special Ankh to wear…WooHoo!) and Mavens (initiates). Once I saw the error in that
(you cannot, in my opinion, give someone the title of Elder. A true Elder probably doesn’t even know that they are a true Elder. They certainly don’t “wear” the title of Elder plastered across their forehead. Perhaps assigning labels and positions to the members of a House works for others, but it did not work for me or my members). After I did away with all the labels and encouraged “real” free speech among the members, my House did okay for a time. However, I felt that it never had any real growth or evolution. I felt that it’s only purpose seemed to become just another House taking up internet space. In my opinion, it served no real purpose other than to boost individual ego’s and/or the House’s ego in the community. I didn’t/don’t need a House to find those who resonate with the Darkborne Tradition–the spiritual path of Cimmerian Illuminati…this is my path, a path that was borne from my innate vampiric Essence.

Let’s break it down:

Cimmerian Illuminati: A balance of Darkness and Illumination. If you will…an illuminating Darkness. Cimmerian Illuminati is a blending of Elemental Magick, Blood (feeding and Magickal/ritual uses), sexual magick, and innate vampiric abilities. As disciples of “Endarkment” (Just to be clear, I coined this term in 2000 in the OVC), we use Cimmerian Illuminati to continuously evolve our divine spiritual and physical legacy.

Let me define Cimmerian for you: Cimmerian a) Pertaining to Cimmerium, a town at the mouth of the Palus Maeotis. The ancients pretended that this country was involved in Darkness; whence the phrase Cimmerian Darkness, to denote a dark or continued obscurity. b) One of the mythical or ancient Cimmerti, first prominently mentioned by Homer. Written also as Kimmerian.

Upon entering the Sanguinarium with my House–I needed to explain my spiritual path, if I had one (as per the rules). I had named my beliefs/path quite a while ago…The Darkborne Tradition. Cimmerian Illuminati, was a more detailed explanation of that original belief system.

Our Darkness is not the absence of Light. It is one of Illuminating Darkness. It is Endarkment

Nicola: After you had your son you took a break from the community, and focused on family and your own personal path, can you share any lessons you learned during that time?  Do you find motherhood more fulfilling now, having been able to focus solely on your children for a while?

Julia: After my experience with doing the Penn & Teller: Bullshit Show (really, the name of the show should have made me turn it down) two weeks after I gave birth to my 3rd child, I decided to take some time off from the online Vampire community and doing publicity for the community. I tried to be a better mother to my newest addition, than I was to my 2 older children—who were at the time of the birth of my 3rd son, almost grown. My life has/does consist of so much more than the vampire community. Because of the things that happened to me, starting in my childhood, when I became a vampyre celebrity (a Z list celebrity to be sure), for the first time, people were seeking me out to learn from me, to be with/around me. Instead of seeking me out to abuse me, torture me, rape me, beat me, or any number of horrible things. So, in the midst of my “celebrity”, I became self-absorbed–and while I never abused my children or denied them my love, there were definitely times when I was neglectful. I definitely missed some of the precious moments of their childhoods. I vowed to myself and my newborn son that I would be a better mother this time around. So, I felt it necessary to remove myself from the OVC. Not the real life community. I was still who/what I am, and lived my life as such. I just stopped doing media, of any kind for the community. I stayed away from the OVC for about 6 years. When I returned, it had changed quite a lot. My sabbatical from the OVC taught me very little. For I never really gleaned much of anything useful from the OVC. For me, knowledge is gained in in real life experiences. I personally, never learned anything of significance from the OVC sites/forums. For me, most of the information that is available in the OVC, is old hat, or it is, in my opinion, complete and utter bullshit. Not all, just most of it. I’m not negating the usefulness of the OVC, just explaining that real vampyres existed long before the OVC. My time away, like I already stated, allowed me to be the mother that I should have been with my oldest children. Basically, my whole time away from the OVC, was spent raising my son. I didn’t change who/what I am, other than I learned I was not the center of the Universe, Vampire or otherwise. I ate a huge piece of reality and humble pie…and it was delicious.

Nicola:     Do you have any advice for new mothers who are in the community about raising a child as a vampire?

Julia: The best advice I can give a new mother in the V Community raising a child as a vampire is…DON’T raise your child as a vampire. That is, in my opinion, a form of spiritual/emotional abuse. Just because you are a “vampire” doesn’t mean that your children are “vampires”. You absolutely cannot influence them in any way. They have to discover their own inner nature (whatever that is) on their own.

Now, if I read this question incorrectly, and you are actually asking me, how does a young mother raise a child when the mother is a vampire…is a different answer, of course. Being a parent has nothing to do with being a vampire. I would hope that a young vampire mother would be more tolerant and open-minded than the young non-vampire mother. However everyone is an individual with individual personalities and belief systems. I raised my children to learn HOW to think, not WHAT to think. As a result (even though my children suffered horribly due to the ignorance of others), my 2 oldest children have become beautiful and awesome adults. They are productive members of society, while at the same time being empathic, compassionate, and passionate, beyond kind hearted human beings. I never included them in any part of my vampirism. They knew of it (how could they not). They asked a few questions, but in general could have cared less. They still, to this day, could care less. Just love your children for who they are, not what/who you want/think they should be. Never abuse them physically, spiritually or emotionally on any level. I know that seems like a given, but you might be surprised how many people abuse their children and don’t even realize that they are doing it. My 2 oldest children are the product of rape (by the same man, who I was forced to marry at the age of 17). I mention this only to convey a point. Even though they were borne of vile ignorance and violence, I never saw them as anything but the most beautiful creations and the truest meanings in my world. I never took out the horror that I suffered, due to their “father” raping me, on them. I simply love them and appreciate them for who/what they are.

Nicola:     What do you see as the Future for the Darkborne Tradition?

Julia: As far as the future of The Darkborne Tradition goes, I would like for it to be a “beacon” in the glorious Darkness for those who resonate with its path (in whatever way). I want it to evolve and grow, just as the life we live should evolve and grow. I do not want it to stagnate, like I see much of the Vampire Community has. Perhaps some people will come and they will leave as they evolve and no longer feel that they need or fit with The Darkborne Path. That is as it should be. I hope that an influx of people dedicated to understanding their true inner natures, will keep the Tradition alive and growing. Where it might eventually end up, I cannot say. The point of The Darkborne Traditions existence is to be but a stepping stone, on the many different paths of its members. Hopefully, as its members evolve and move on, they will take some of The Darkborne Tradition with them. In doing so, we will forever be a part of the cycle of Universal Energy, passed on from Vampyre to Vampyre.

Side Note (I know, yet another one): When I left the OVC those 6 or so years, my best friend Nicola Jones, kept the fire of The Darkborne Tradition burning within the community. Honestly, I dropped the ball and left quite a few people without guidance, just swaying in the wind. Nicola never gave up spreading the word that there was/is an alternative to all the other “stuff” that the community (not everyone in the community) tries to dictate as the only truth about real living vampires. Thank you Nicola from the bottom of my vampire Essence.

Nicola: Awe shucks, your welcome!

Nicola: What projects are you currently working on?

Julia: I am currently writing my memoir. Which does relate to the Vampire Community…a huge chunk of the book will be about my experiences in the V Community. Let me explain. I was bombarded in the 90’s by various publishers and other writers, to write my life story. I couldn’t do it then. Good thing too, I would have written it for all the wrong reasons. Now that my life has become somewhat settled (at least compared to what it has been), I feel that now is the time to share my story. The truth is, my life story is to most people incomprehensible. It is the stuff of fiction. It is unfathomable to most, vampire or not. I have faced a great many horrors. Not that I think most people will be able to relate to the things that happened in my life. But I think that my message of no matter how horror filled someone perceives their life to be, I mean no matter what, you keep going. You never give up; you never surrender (Thanks ‘Galaxy Quest’). You don’t allow yourself to become a victim of anyone or anything. The worthless meat suits who tried to break you, are so far beneath you that they are not even worthy of your hate. That no matter what the reader is going through, if I can make it through Hell and come out smelling like a Dark Rose. Then surely they can conquer anything that comes along in their life. I am not judging one person’s misfortune as being better or worse than mine. There is no scale.  I plan on using the proceeds from my book to start/help an organization for abused women and children. As well, I would like to give some of the money to the Vampire Community. I just haven’t decided in what capacity yet. I am also working on co-writing with Nicola Jones, The Darkborne Grimoire. I don’t want to say too much about it. Plagarism runs rampant in this community.

Nicola:  What is your hope for the future of the vampire community?

Julia: My hope for the future of the Vampire Community is simply that those involved with the community, whether “real” vampires or not, continue to evolve and grow spiritually, physically and socially. Until individuals within the community actually evolve and grow in those areas, the community will stagnate or worse, become completely driven by drama and false prophets. A community is only as evolved as i’s members. I’m not sure where the community is headed. Real vampyres are not part of the herd. We follow ourselves, our inner vampiric Essence (at least we should be).

Nicola: Is there anything else you would like to share with the readers of the Graveyard Press?

Julia: “Believe nothing, O monks, merely because you have been told it…or because it is traditional, or because you yourselves have imagined it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings–that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” ~Attributed to Buddha

Now apply this quote to living your life as a vampyre.

Just breathe…every breath is miraculous, no matter what kind of Being you are. Every life-force (through blood and/or psi) that we “breathe” in, we also “breathe” back out into the Universe. We take the life’s energy, heal it, evolve it…then we “breathe” it back out to be once again assimilated into the endless continuum of Universal Energy. Just keep breathing…

Just breathe…every breath is miraculous, no matter what kind of Being you are. Every life-force (through blood and/or psi) that we “breathe” in, we also “breathe” back out into the Universe. We take the life’s energy, heal it, evolve it…then we “breathe” it back out to be once again assimilated into the endless continuum of Universal Energy. Just keep breathing…

Evolve dammit!

Advertisements

Once Again

Posted: Tuesday, 27 December, 2011 by deacongray in Poetry

Here we sit. You’re there and I’m here.
You read the words I write. You judge, You condemn, and You listen.
We are you. We are I.
We breathe, We laugh, We love.
Listen to Me now. I roar. I scream. I beg. I plead.
I please. I bleed. I anger.
I cry. I love. I despise.
You rant. You flaunt. You dote.
I refuse to give in. You refuse to grant success.
I? I refuse to die here. I refuse to die now.
Tomorrow boasts a sunrise so beautiful it blinds.
Tomorrow boasts a sunset so tragic, I cry.
Yesterday is the nothingness of memories.
Yesterday is the day I fell in love with you all over again.
Today is Mine. Today is Yours.
Today, I take over the world.
Today, I send You my love.
Through it all, I have You.
Through it all, I am still Me.
Through it all, I refuse to Hate.

 

© Mikyla Abigor, 2007

Royal Blood

Posted: Tuesday, 27 December, 2011 by deacongray in Book Reviews
Tags: , , , ,

Rhys Bowen. Mystery. Royal Blood. 305 pages

Rhys Bowen is an award winning mystery author. Royal Blood is the fourth book in the ‘Royal Spyness’ series, which features Lady Georgiana, penniless and 34th in line to the English throne.

While not the most recent offering of the series, Royal Blood called out to this reader. Here, we find Lady Georgiana at her wits end: her brother Binky and his wife, Fig, have descended upon House Rannoch in London, shattering the peace and quiet she has been almost enjoying. Binky is oblivious to his wife’s snobbery and the wife loves to harp on about Lady Georgiana making a “suitable” match before being placed upon the shelf. It is, after all, just the 30s and the Depression is in full force across the globe. So, what’s a girl to do? Accept the Queen’s order to travel to Romania and attend the wedding of a school friend as a representative of British royalty, of course. Especially if it means escape from the odious Fig and real meals instead of toast and baked beans for a change!

And so, the journey from England to Romania begins. Because no proper young lady, especially an actual Lady, would dare journey without a companion, along comes the battle axe known as Lady Middlesex and her companion, Mrs. Deer-Harte. The latter is prone to superstitions and “feelings”, laying the groundwork of vampires in Lady Georgiana’s head. These feelings are only further cemented when it is announced that the royal wedding will take place in the original Lord Dracul’s Castle, deep in the mountains.  Coupled with the feeling that someone is watching her, seeing someone scaling the Castle walls, waking up with someone standing over her, the superstitions soon take full hold of Lady Georgiana. When a foreign diplomat is murdered at dinner, it is clear to Lady Georgiana that the intended victim is none other than the bridegroom. But the murder must be covered up to ensure the wedding takes place without international incident. And then, Mrs. Deer-Harte ends up dead at the bottom of a treacherous set of stairs and Lady Georgiana finds herself in a dungeon…

What’s a girl to do? Solve the mystery, of course! And she does, with aplomb. These are not the psychological thrillers of masters such as Koontz or King. No, they are lighthearted and fun reads. Lady Georgiana is addictive. You are invited to start at the beginning and work your way up to Royal Blood, but it isn’t necessary.

© Mikyla Abigor

Disclaimer: The following interview was done for educational purposes. We do not condone any behavior depicted here. We have no affiliation with Roxy.

Roxy has no affiliations with Real Vampires, Otherkin and similar subcultures. Her conduct does not reflect on any community. She is a predator by choice.

We will not participate in any disagreements, lawsuits and criminal proceedings. The following interview was conducted under confidence. The Graveyard Press (and it’s staff) is neutral.

For many years, society has seen predators as serial killers, child molesters and especially rapist, but many never apply that term outside of that box. When mentioning “Psychic Predators,” a majority of people think of frauds and con artists. There are very few that believe a genuine Psychics (commonly stereotyped as a pro-nature, vegan-eating hippy) is capable of an unsavory nature.

A “Psychic Predator” is not a con artist or fraud. These people are genuine Psychics that use their unique abilities to prey on others. The following is a candid interview with a real Psychic Predator.

Interviewer: Please tell everyone a bit about yourself.

Roxy: Well, my name is Roxy. I am from Checy, France and I’ve been into metaphysics practice for 8 years now. Psionics have been under my direct studies for 5 years now, I’ve seen and experienced with both techniques and methods and the many variants of the terms of such studies.

Interviewer: So, you’re a psychic?

Roxy: Yes, I am.

Interviewer: How and Why did you get involved in Metaphysics?

Roxy: Because of my curiosity. Since a very early age, I had an interest in science. Before discovering Metaphysics, I was reading many variants of science. I favored philosophy as well, which linked to Metaphysics.

Interviewer: As a psychic, what’s your specialty?

Roxy: My specialty is mostly telepathy more than anything. I do have quite the intuitive with empathy but it is not my native skill such as telepathy. I am also quite skillful in the astral projection spectrum as well.

Interviewer: How have you used your abilities?

Roxy: Out of curiosity, I’ve used my abilities on people to spy and most likely cause them to do things they wouldn’t normally do.

Sometimes, though, I didn’t have a choice. Then again, there were times I had a choice, but I did it anyways. For an example, I caused my ex-girlfriend (Gina) to become suicidal by exploiting her fears. I was able to manipulate her by forming a empathic and telepathic bond. I would form something inside of myself and turn it on her.

Interviewer: What did Gina do to you?

Roxy: Gina simply met me at the wrong time and place. I was at arms with myself and against other people as well. When it came to my rebelliousness, I was at my max. My emotions were rapid, so a relationship was easily for me to get into. The only price was that my partner had to be aware of my explosiveness.

She was sadistic.. or what have you…She treated other people as if they where below her. She met me at a time of trouble and decided to consider me a “hero of her life.” She saw I was a rebellious and jealous person,  which I never deny.

She tried to exploit that and it back fired on her horribly.

Interviewer: Was she your first target?

Roxy: No, she wasn’t.

Interviewer: Who was your first target?

Roxy: His name was Charles. He was just some random new kid.

Interviewer: Can you describe what happens to your targets?

Roxy: I usually feel them as I speak to them. I break down who they are and what they do–their interests. I start from basics.

Their lifestyles, desires and demands. What they wish they had and know they will never get.

I feel them for pain and what’s going on in their current and/or past lives. To see what caused them any painful changes or any successful changes. I do not discriminate in what I find. The more the better.

I connect to them.

It allows me to slowly materialize a form of reality amongst them, in a way. Piece by piece slowly and each piece affects them in ways unimaginable.

Sometimes, I have to stop because I don’t want to get too far ahead.

Interviewer: Can you explain that? Why wouldn’t you want to get too far ahead?

Roxy: Alright, let me give you an example. It’s a short, but very real example.

You met me last 2 weeks ago and we ended up friends. Well, let’s say you expressed depression to me, but overall you suddenly started liking me as more than a friend. I would give you all the comfort you need to settle your depression. You would trust me more and talk to me more. I would memorize everything you say. I would open myself up to you and display an exploit of mind to show you I’m not perfect. In return, you would express more to me. Basically, pouring yourself out to me. I would close up slowly to you. After showing only a small side of my vulnerability to you.

Then, I would take all that I know and manipulate you. I would use my empathy and telepathy to help me.

I would wait for you to start an argument with me—something to strike your frustrations. I would set you up and I would delude your pride and frustrations.

Once I delude your frustrations and pride, I would cause your pride to go into overdrive. Your dependency would go through the roof. You would disconnect from most friends. Frustrations would make you hate whats left of your friends. I would watch that and manipulate everything as it’s happening.

It’s a very simple way to screw a person up.

Interviewer: Is having power over people a high for you?

Roxy: Yes.

Interviewer: Is that why you do it?

Roxy: Yes.

Interviewer: What is your favorite thing to do to people?

Roxy: My favorite thing to do would be to feel them. When I feel them, it’s sort of like touching them in person, but with an extra twist.

Interviewer: When you target people, how did it affect them? Can you be detailed?

Roxy: Yes, my first victim.

I caused him to turn against his friends and then his community and then finally against himself by first listening to him and feeling his emotions. Being able to put my own self on the back burner, and putting him as the main priority. And sorting through his abilities as well as times went on I learned to fluctuate him empathically followed by telepathically.

I’ve learned to constantly receive from him instead of always sending to him from my own on all levels. I acted as a server to him. I only had the resources he provided but on other cases I concealed most of what I received and amplified “the matter,” which had any effect that i received from him and amplified them.

Interviewer: What did he do to you?

Roxy: Nothing. He was just an experiment. He was suppose to be a friend, but my “better half” saw him as an animal. An Experiment.

Interviewer: Do you feel your actions were justified with your first victim?

Roxy: Yes.

Yes with him and with every other victim.

Nothing comes of an empty purpose. I’m deserving of each action I serve to. No matter if it’s positive or negative. I know I’ll push to the nearest end to be successful.I see myself as someone “in the middle.” I do have emotion, though, they must be earned in order for me to feel pity.

I do not take on a title of “bad or good.”

Interviewer: How do you pick targets?

Roxy: Shit, if I knew! They were just random targets.

Interviewer: How do you separate who you manipulate and who you don’t?

Roxy: Yes, I do separate them. There are some I care about and others I don’t.

Interviewer: Would you consider what you do psychological torture?

Roxy: Yes and I’m good at it.

Interviewer: Do you enjoy it?

Roxy: Yes.

Interviewer: Do you think you could stop?

Roxy: No. It feels too good. It’s like a drug to me. I can’t.

Interviewer: If you weren’t psychic, would you still prey on people using mundane methods?

Roxy: Yes.

Interviewer: Have you met others like you?

Roxy: No.

Interviewer: Have you ever met someone stronger and better than you?

Roxy: Not really. I haven’t met anyone that showed me their strength. They just initiated fights with me.

Interviewer: Have you ever been challenged to prove your abilities?

Roxy: Only once.

Interviewer: What happened?

Roxy: Not much. Just that I used my abilities against them so all questions were answered. It’s sort of like asking, “Does that stove get hot?” Of course, I’m going to say, “Why not put your hand on it for a bit?”

Interviewer: Would you consider yourself a predator?

Roxy: More or less. I do consider myself a mage with an endevorous mischievous prospective.

Interviewer: How did you end up preying on people?

Roxy: Curiosities. Me wondering how things worked. I sure wasn’t going to test them on myself. I didn’t really care how it effected other people.

Interviewer: Why not?

Roxy: Why not? It wouldn’t hurt me, when I hurt them. So long as my safety isn’t in question or harms way, I didn’t care. The focus was on seeing the effects.

In short, I’ll say:

I’m very self-centered and contrary. I don’t care about other people’s safety or their lives. When I need a test rat and I see one, I’m going to use it.

Interviewer: How do people feel about you?

Roxy: People usually feel intimidated by me or either curious with a mixture of hatred because I’m seen as complex and random, but they do know that I’m mischievous. They want to trust me. If they interact with me at all, they’d do it from a distance.

Interviewer: How do you view yourself?

Roxy: Someone that’s curious and likes to try stuff.

Interviewer: Can you tell us about your family?

Roxy: My family wanted to be viewed as generous and of high priority. Their actions were careless without a doubt. It was more like a cult.

They had their own “vision” and so on of how they were suppose to be. They were people that wanted to be impenetrable. They had pride and believed in numbers. They always were close amongst each other.

When you threatened one, the majority of them would be there to fight together.

Interviewer: What happened if you deviated from their vision?

Roxy: You would be disowned. Unfavored. Possibly hated.

Interviewer: How would you be treated?

Roxy: You would have been tossed out. Everyone would be contacted and warned not to accept any contact from you and to look out for you.

Interviewer: What was your family’s lifestyle like?

Roxy: Spoiled, high class and competitive. Protective and elusive.

My family would give me money and all sorts of stuff to keep me with them and at bay. They knew I liked certain things—like money. My people believed in having many things. They never believed in having to “hustle” for anything.

They never begged and taught me never to ask for anything. If I ever desired anything, I just had to ask for it.

Interviewer: What sort of things did you get, besides money?

Roxy: Material. Mostly electronics, name brand cloths, shoes…

Interviewer: So, whatever you wanted you received? No questions asked or problems encountered?

Roxy: I never encountered any problems or refusals. One of the main reasons was my mother. She was last of 11 children and everyone spoiled her. I was treated the same way. Till this day I’m seen as a baby.

Interviewer: Are you still with them?

Roxy: No, I’m no longer with them. I’m somewhat glad, but I miss them severely.

Interviewer: What happened?

Roxy: Because of what I am. What I believed in.

They didn’t believe that I was setting a good enough example for my younger brother and other young relatives. My mother feared what I was would cause a lot of conflict and turmoil, so she kicked me out.

Interviewer: What are you? What do you believe in?

Roxy: I’m a transgendered female. That was one of the main reasons my family saw as antagonising. They didn’t want the public to know of me in that “condition.”

They had a lot of pride and didn’t take lightly to any “gays” or any of that sort. They were somewhat traditional. However, if you weren’t related to them, then they didn’t care and just laughed at you.

My mother was Pagan, but she hid that from me and others because of how my family was. She introduced me to a lot of my interests.

Interviewer: As a transgender, how did your family treat and view you?

Roxy: They treated me…like an outcast…somewhat.

I remember my mother coming to me thinking it meant I was just a gay male. I explained it as much as I could and as simple as I could to her. Overall, my mother noticed the majority of my changes.

She came to me telling me all the dangers I would face living a certain lifestyle. She didn’t want to lose me due to that. My family didn’t really approve of it because many of other people amongst my family looked down on it.

My family believed in the old tradition.

Man and woman. Getting married. Having a few kids and raising them and giving them the best without any hardships.

You show them the world and visa versa.

Interviewer: What was your relationship with your parents like?

Roxy: We argued a majority of the time, but we made up for it by talking it out and going out some place. They pretty much buttered me up even when I didn’t deserve it. They believe that after showing some sort of hurt that I had enough and learned my lesson.

Interviewer: Was anyone in your family like you? (A predator.)

Roxy: My mother was more like me than anyone else. People would call me her “twin.”

Interviewer: So, she was a predator? Like you?

Roxy: Yes. How do you think I got into everything?

Interviewer: She taught you how to prey on people?

Roxy: One of her examples was my father. That’s what she pointed out to me.

Interviewer: Can you describe your father? Tell us a bit about him?

Roxy: Quiet and sensitive. He was into himself a good bit of the time. He kept to himself. I liked what he liked.

He had an ego, but it wasn’t as loud as the rest of my family.

Interviewer: Can you describe his relationship with your mother?

Roxy: Shy, quiet, emotional, intuitive, random and unhonest are words to describe what went on between them. My mother always made sure I knew what was happening. Out of all my siblings, she wanted me to know.

Interviewer: What happened?

Roxy: One was more competitive and wanted to be in control.

My mother was dominant. She wanted ownership of every situation and wherever she lived. My father was similiar, but my mother kept it in check.

Interviewer: You said your father was an example for you. How did your mother set him up as an example?

Roxy: He was her victim. She caused him to do things he wouldn’t normally do. My father, being somewhat dominant, always wanted control of the family business. She always toned him down one way or another.

My father loved money and material things. My mother manipulated him into giving it all to her and drained him on the side. She even made him give her some of his earnings.

Interviewer: You’re close to your mother, but you rarely mention your father. How did you feel about him?

Roxy: My family never cared much for him and neither did I. He spoiled me, too, but not quite as much as my mother. He believed in treating me “more like a man.” My mother’s family was pissed with him because he got my mother pregnant. (Laughing) He got her knocked up twice.

They wanted full blooded French babies. At least, something close to that. They barely talk much english.

The reason I moved to America was my father. They followed him and my mother. My family didn’t want him to move my mother too far—some place they couldn’t keep track of him.

Eventually, my father left my mother because her brothers attacked him.

Interviewer: How did your family treat you?

Roxy: They spoiled me. Since my mother was someone with a good job and good education, I was treated with respect. They wanted me to be the prime future example of her.

Interviewer: Are you bitter towards them?

Roxy: Not really, just a bit rebellious. Other than that, I’m very respectful and honorful of them.

Interviewer: Did your family prey on people?

Roxy: In general, no. My mother did, though.

Interviewer: Was your father her first victim?

Roxy: No, not her first.

Interviewer: Do you know who her first was?

Roxy: No idea, but I do know that she had several friends that she did things to. She never got into what she did to them, though.

Interviewer: Did you think (at any point) that what she was teaching you was wrong?

Roxy: No, I took it as a life lesson.

Inteviewer: Does your mother know what you’ve done to people?

Roxy: Yes, she does and is happy I was successful.

Interviewer: Did she use psychic abilities against people?

Roxy: Yes.

Interviewer: Would you call your family elists?

Roxy: Yes. They’re elitist. They care for themselves and only themselves.

Interviewer: Have you ever killed anyone?

Roxy: I’ve come close to doing so, but that person survived.

Interviewer: Did you go to jail for it?

Roxy: Not at all.

Interviewer: Why didn’t you go to jail?

Roxy: There was no proof. My parents knew some of the cops in that division, too. In fact, my parents went to school with a few.

Interviewer: Who did you try to kill?

Roxy: A “friend” of mine. He was just at the wrong place and time.

Interviewer: When they survived, were you upset at all?

Roxy: No, I just learned from my experience and action. If I wanted to be successful at taking someone out, I had to do it a bit better. It was clearly experimental.

Interviewer: Did your family ever kill anyone?

Roxy: Yes. My mother’s uncles have, anyway.

Interviewer: Were they caught?

Roxy: Yes, but my family settled it.

Interviewer: Are you afraid that your family would kill you?

Roxy: They wouldn’t because I’m seen as one of their babies—the baby of their baby. It’s something my family takes seriously.

They only wanted the best for me. They wanted me a part of their network; To not have to seek others. When my mother said or did something, the whole family would be silent. Everyone would listen. The only one that was above her was her oldest brother.

Or her mother and father.

Interviewer: Roxy, why did you agree to an interview? Furthermore, why are you answering my questions? Especially sensitive ones?

Roxy: I’m open, to a degree. I don’t mind talking about (some) stuff. There are things I don’t mind revisiting because it’s not really all that painful. It’s more or less cute to me.

Interviewer: Roxy, do you have any affiliations with Real Vampires (Online and Offline community) Otherkin and similar subcultures?

Roxy: No…

Offline? I’ve always been a lonestar type. I don’t communicate well with others. I’m often found by myself. More or less isolated.

I’m not really inoto the library setting. People, in general, make me feel weary.

Interviewer: So, you’re a predator by choice?

Roxy: Yes.

Acknowledgments:

I would like to offer thanks to Roxy for agreeing to an interview. She answered questions honestly, which was much appriciated.

I would like to offer thanks to Deacon Gray and Mikyla Abigor, who helped think up questions to ask. The support and encouragement given was priceless.

Thanks to everyone else that helped me with research and contacts. You know who you are.

Further Reading:

Confessions of a Psychic Predator – Archived Widdershins Magazine

Psychic Predators vs. Psychic Vampires – J.V Krakowski (Personal Website)

Sylvere Ap Leanan- Refocus on Otherkin

Posted: Tuesday, 27 December, 2011 by deacongray in Community Articles

“You shall be known by other men
For your great works of voice and pen
Yet inspiration has a cost
For with me know your soul is lost
I’ll take your passion and your skill
I’ll take your young life quicker still.”

by  Brenna Gwyn  adapted from Heather Alexander

Sylvere ap Leanan is your everyday friendly neighborhood mother of two who went to university in Kansas city, well if  by everyday you include that she is a self described Vampire and Leanan Sidhe. You might think that is enough to set her  totally apart, but she actually blends into the background pretty well when she wants too.  

When she doesn’t want to blend in or sit in the background her actions tend to make a pretty big impact.  Many might know that she owns the longest running on line forum “Real Vampires” has organized meet ups like Gathering Dusk, appeared on TV in a documentary called “American Vampires”, and wrote a segment in the book Vampires In Their Own Words.  These are just some of her many accomplishments.

I asked her to sit down with me, however, not to talk about Vampirism, but to talk about a community that remains shadowed even within our own community. The Otherkin.

GYP: How long have you been in the otherkin community?

Sylvere Ap Leanan: I was reading Usenet groups in the mid-1990s whenever I could borrow a friend’s computer, but I didn’t have reliable access to an Internet-capable computer until 1997, so I consider that year my “official” start date.

GYP: Do you describe yourself as Otherkin or Therian?

Sylvere: I usually describe myself as a psychic vampire first. If pressed for more detail, I explain that I identify as Leanan Sidhe, which is type of Otherkin that shares many traits in common with vampires. If I start out by telling people I’m Leanan Sidhe, I get a lot of blank looks. More people are familiar with the concept of a psychic vampire than are familiar with Leanan Sidhe.

GYP: I Bet you do get a lot of blank looks when you speak about the Leanan Sidhe. You said they share common traits with the Vampire, could you go into a little more detail about that? I am sure those reading will be fascinated.

Sylvere: In folklore, the Leanan Sidhe is the dark muse. She inspires poets, musicians and other artists and then drains their vitality as they create, either by drinking their blood or by using the innate magic of the Fae. Those Otherkin who identify as Leanan Sidhe feed in much the same way as a psychic or hybrid vampire. When we don’t, we also experience the same detrimental effects on our health as people who identify as vampires suffer when they aren’t able to feed.

GYP: That is a concept I have not really spent much time in study on, thank you for telling me more about it.

GYP: So what is the primary difference between a Therianthrope and an Otherkin?

Sylvere: I’m not a Therianthrope, so I won’t pretend I know everything there is to know about being Therian. However, based on what I’ve learned from my interaction with Therians over the years, the main differences are that Therians always have some type of animal spirit or consciousness that correlates with a natural animal, while Otherkin nearly always identify with a mythic entity. Elves, Satyrs, various types of Fae, and Starseed are common among Otherkin.

In addition, many Therians experience a “shift” between their animal consciousness and their human selves. Otherkin usually don’t. There are exceptions in both groups, of course, but I’m speaking in broader generalities right now, for the sake of simplicity. If I tried to cover every possible permutation of Therians and Otherkin we’d be here until next week and I’d probably *still* miss something. Therianthropy and the Otherkin experience are related phenomena, but there are enough differences for each to deserve its own categorization.

GYP: So is that kind of like the differences between Otaku-kin and Otherkin?

Sylvere: An Otaku-kin is someone who believes he or she is the reincarnation of a fictional character or who has the spirit of one residing in his or her body. Otaku-kin started out being limited to anime characters but I’ve seen the description extended to other fictional characters, such as Tolkien elves and, most recently, Na’avi from the movie Avatar.

GYP: So Otaku-kin basically believe any fictional or made up creature can have some kind of a spirit that inhabits them or that they are once was? I admit I find that pretty confusing.

Sylvere: Otaku and Furries are to Otherkin what role-players and lifestylers are to vampires. There’s a bit of overlap, but many Otherkin see Otaku as delusional and Furries as role-players who have taken the game too far. For many Otherkin, this is part of their spiritual experience, so Otaku and Furries rub them the wrong way.

GYP: Can people be both vampire and Otherkin, or Therian?

Sylvere: Yes. Some who identify as both vampire and Otherkin feel they were vampires in past lives and have carried those traits into their current incarnations. Others feel they are vampires because they are Otherkin and the human body was never meant to house their non-human spirits. Either they “leak” energy because the human body doesn’t mesh well with the Other soul or the Other soul burns through energy at a faster rate than the human body is able to replenish it. Vampirism becomes a means of replacing what is lost. I don’t know anyone who identifies as both vampire and therian, but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone did.

GYP: In the Vampire community there are covens, Clans, Houses and groups…what are the otherkin equivalent?

Sylvere: Some Otherkin join pagan covens or form their own and others, like the Elenari and the Silver Elves, band into loosely organized tribes based on ‘Kin type. However, the drive for organization and hierarchy that is often seen in the vampire community is much less prevalent among Otherkin. When Otherkin form groups, decisions are often made by consensus or by taking a vote. If a vampire House were compared to a fraternal order like the Freemasons, then an Otherkin tribe would be more like a commune or a Burning Man camp.

GYP: Are there tensions between the Vampire and Otherkin community?

Sylvere: In the early days of both communities there was some tension because a lot of Otherkin viewed vampires as dangerous, unnatural leeches. However, those days are past and the two groups either ignore each other or else they get along just fine.

GYP: With the newer generation coming forward, like the Crimson Moon Pack that was featured in the news recently, coming forward in the media, are there concerns developing?

Sylvere: I don’t know about the Therian community, but I haven’t noticed any concerns among Otherkin. In part, it’s because Otherkin are even less organized than vampires. What one group of Otherkin does has very little effect on the rest.

GYP: In the VC, there is a lot of talk about dealing with their vampire issues, what do Otherkin have to deal with?

Sylvere: The Awakening for Otherkin is very similar to Awakening for vampires. In fact, the term Awakening was adopted by the Otherkin community quite awhile before the vampire community embraced it. For many Otherkin, there’s a feeling of being disconnected from humanity. It can be difficult to reconcile thought processes and ethical standards that seem alien to the rest of the world or mental processes and ethics that are common among humans but which, to an Otherkin mind, run the gamut from utter nonsense to downright offensive.

In quite a few cases, Otherkin experience the same sort of disconnect with their human bodies. Sensations of phantom appendages, such as wings, are fairly common, though the disconnect may be as simple as a feeling that the body is just *wrong* without being able to pinpoint exactly why.

GYP: Is there an Otherkin spirituality?

Sylvere: As much as there’s a vampire spirituality. The Otherkin experience has a spiritual component, but it isn’t a religion. Otherkin can be pagan, Buddhist or follow any other spiritual path.

 GYP: Can one be made into an Otherkin?

Sylvere: No, for the most part, either you were Other-than-human in a previous incarnation or you weren’t. There have been a few instances of a walk-in by a non-human spirit into a human body, but those cases are exceptionally rare.

GYP: What is a “Walk in” exactly and do you believe that they can happen?

Sylvere:According to New Age philosophy, a walk-in is a spirit that takes up residence in a living body when the original spirit departs. This may happen as the result of trauma, such as a near-death experience, or because the original spirit has reached a phase in which it has learned all it can on this plane of existence and no longer needs a physical body. The change may be temporary or permanent, depending on the circumstances of the switch.

In the Otherkin community, walk-ins work a little differently – the Other soul takes up residence in the human body and then shares it with the human spirit. This creates a situation similar to dissociative identity disorder (multiple personalities). I’ve interacted with a couple of Otherkin who claimed to be “hosts” to more than one Other soul. I don’t have an opinion on whether or not walk-ins are legitimate. I won’t say it can’t happen, but the jury is still out.

GYP: Therians are often associated with nature is the same true with Otherkin or are both misconceptions?

Sylvere: Yes, Otherkin typically feel a connection with nature, although the strength of that connection varies from one individual to another. In some cases, Otherkin have serious issues with technology and other human-made devices to the point that living in a city is unthinkable for them. Others don’t have a problem as long as they can go hiking or camping on a regular basis. I’ve encountered a few Otherkin who periodically needed to get away from anything man-made and draw energy from the natural world in much the same way vampires need to feed. When those individuals were unable to recharge, they reported experiencing physical and emotional effects that mirror those of a starving vampire. However, many Otherkin do just fine in cities as long as they are able to keep a garden or some houseplants.

GYP: Well I want to thank you for your time, knowledge and experience. You certainly have given me and our readers a good deal to consider. Do you have any resources, or books you might recommend for our readers who have further questions?

Sylvere: For those who want to learn more about Otherkin, the most reliable resources currently available are “A Field Guide to Otherkin” by Lupa, Otherkin.net, Elenari.net, Rialian’s Realm (www.rialian.com) and the various writings of The Silver Elves.

As a writer, I was cursed with a stubborn idea light, so I needed a good mystery and set up to fuel it. The current interview suggestions were interesting, but I needed someone who sparked possibilities and deep thoughts to help inspire me.

I leaned forward at my desk, idly tapping a pencil and hoping for a spark of anything to show. There was a quiet ding and a message box popped up.

Another message has been posted to Graveyard Press Staff.

I’d been doing a bit of research for a potential people to interview, but I dropped everything to see that new message. I held my head up on a folded arm, skimming replies and hoped for something new. The previous interview suggestions were interesting, but hadn’t inspired me at all.

Venger Satanis, founder of The Cult of Cthulhu.

An interview with a Satanist! That was an interesting and thought-provoking assignment. There were many possibilities with him.

I accepted it without hesitation.

What sort of person was Venger Satanis? What were his motives and background? In my experience, the Left Hand Path frequently attracted people with a god complex, selfishly power hungry and/or negatively ambitious.  Perhaps he won’t be bad as that, I thought to myself. Afterall, he was suggested interview subject.

What direction should my article go? Would people be interested in The Cult of Cthulhu or Venger Satanis? What would leave readers with deep thoughts and a dash of curiosity?

While it took me longer than I liked, I managed to work out a direction that seemed interesting. After drawing up a few questions, I contacted Venger Satanis.

Interviewer: Why did you choose “Venger Satanis” for a name? What does that name mean to you?

Venger Satanis: I liked the sound of it. Venger came from the 1980’s Dungeons & Dragons cartoon. Venger – a single horned, winged black horse riding, tall, pale, and robed creature with a shadow demon servant – was the force of evil within the realm of Dungeons & Dragons. Venger was like a D&D Sith Lord. He was my favorite character.

Satanis came from the first Anton LaVey / Church of Satan documentary. A bit later, I decided to add a middle name. As’Nas seemed appropriate because that was a Persian name for poker which had its origins in France – Ace being the highest and best card. I have a lot of French blood in my veins and the Mythos has a lot of Arabic influence. Plus, I’ve always loved poker, especially no limit Texas Hold’em. That’s what I play now, and I’ve been doing fairly well. It’s good for the mind, like chess.

Does Venger As’Nas Satanis mean anything when it’s all said or written together? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. I wanted something that fit me personally and had a certain flow.

Interviewer: From your name, you’re a follower of Satanism and LHP practitioner. Why does it appeal to you?

Venger Satanis: I used to identify a lot with Satanism. I still think The Satanic Bible is one of the great occult texts of the 20th century. These days, I feel that I’m just as much a Satanist as I am a Christian – which is to say that I’m not wholly one or the other. However, the Cult of Cthulhu is most definitely Left Hand Path. The ideas of success, achievement, and progress have always appealed to me. Not sure why… must be genetic.

For those who don’t know, the LHP practitioner strives for Autonomy, Power, and Self-Deification. I feel those are worthy goals.

Interviewer: You said that the LHP practitioner strives for Autonomy, Power and Self-Deification. Why do you think people have a need for that?
Venger Satanis: Some people have a need for that.  Some people, such as myself, have a gargantuan, deep-seated, unquenchable thirst for Autonomy, Power, and Self-Deification.  It’s in the blood.  Most could take it or leave it.
Interviewer: Do you think other forms of spirituality and religions strive for that, too?
Venger Satanis: That aren’t Left Hand Path?  No.  For one thing, it’s way too hard.  What could be more difficult than becoming like God?  It means completely tearing yourself down, reprogramming, rewiring, and rebuilding everything, and then constantly challenging yourself to go even further.  
 
I’m sure that many religions find the idea of Self-Deification too blasphemous to contemplate.  But what’s a heaven for if not to usurp it from those lesser gods who feast upon our daily suffering?
Interviewer: Why do you think people are afraid to go against the universe (God)?
Venger Satanis: Why are people afraid to go against their parents or their boss or the clerk sitting behind the counter?  Man is a frightened breed.  I learned that from the Twilight Zone.  It happens to be true, by and large.  Going against the powers that be usually results in self-destruction, especially if there’s no plan.  The average person asks, “why risk it?”
Interviewer: In your reply, you mentioned feeling just as much a Satanist as a Christian. Why and how do you feel Christian?
Venger Satanis: In the Work (that’s what we call the Fourth Way), it’s important to consider how other people think and feel.  It’s perfectly natural to react from self-interest alone, but if that’s all we do, then the world becomes increasingly shitty.  I admire Jesus Christ (no matter if he was real or fictional) just as much as I admire Anton LaVey, Michael Aquino, and dozens of other dedicated Satanists who manifest their infernal will.  Anyone who struggles through this world yet refuses to bow down before it is someone to be emulated.

Interviewer: What misconceptions and stereotyping do you think people put towards you? (Possibly from your name alone, or your cult.)

Venger Satanis: There’s too many to name, I think. I’ve heard every possible misconception. Fortunately, after people read my writing, watch my videos, and engage me in one-on-one discussion they realize I’m not what they assumed.

Interviewer: How did it make you feel? To face stereotypes and misconceptions (or worse)?

Venger Satanis: The same as anyone who is judged before someone gets to know them. Those in the limelight get a closer look, of course. Even a “Z” list celebrity such as myself has to face the ignorant masses. Oh well. That’s not the biggest cross to bear.

Interviewer: How did you deal with it?

Venger Satanis: Not being afraid to confront people and show them what I was really about. People are generally OK with having their assumptions smashed, if done gently and gradually. I also have a thick skin – but that came with time. Now, it doesn’t bother me if haters post malicious comments. I take it in stride.

Interviewer: You said your thick skin came with time. Does that mean people’s viciousness strongly affected you at one time? How did you grow your thick skin? What helped?

Venger Satanis: I was born with a certain amount of sensitivity.  You learn to desensitize yourself when it comes to areas that keep getting hit.  Yes, at one time I was strongly affected by vicious attacks, negativity, and the monotonous drone of so many people telling me I’m wrong or crazy.  It takes time to build up emotional callouses.  But first, one needs to accurately appraise the situation… to look consensual reality in the face and overcome it.  Without the will, there is no way. 

Interviewer: How do you see yourself? (As a man, Satanist, LHP follower and Cult of Cthulhu leader.)

Venger Satanis: As a man, I see myself caught between monkey and God.  It’s not easy being human.

As a Satanist, I sometimes see myself in the likeness of Anton LaVey.

As a Left Hand Path follower, I’m forced to challenge myself all the time.  In challenging myself, I end up challenging others – and that freaks people out a lot of the time.  My fellow LHP practitioners will just have to deal.

Being the Cult of Cthulhu leaders is an ordeal all on its own, but one that I take pleasure in.  Being human isn’t easy, but trying to be more than human is damn near impossible.  Nevertheless, I continually try.

Interviewer: From your videos, you’re a painter. What inspires you, other than Cthulhu? How did you get into it?

Venger Satanis: I’ve always loved art and the act of creation.  Color inspires me.  So does form, texture, and meaning.  What an artist puts into his work can tell you a lot about his essence.  I paint for pleasure.  I don’t think I’m that great, but I do try to make a little progress every year or so.
Interviewer: Are people ever surprised that a Satanist and LHP practitioner has artistic talents?
Venger Satanis: I don’t know.  I would hope not.

Interviewer: When you first started studying Satanism and Occult Arts, how old were you?

Venger Satanis: I began to read H.P. Lovecraft in 6th grade or so. I had always been fascinated by creatures, robots, demons, magic, and weird stuff. Ironically, I was too afraid of horror movies to watch them when I was really young. There was still a fascination though. I used to walk through the horror section of different video stores, looking at all the gruesome and vile video sleeve cover art. I was attracted and repelled at the same time. I was afraid but I also had a need to confront my fears. It didn’t hurt that a lot of horror movies used sex to entice potential renters.

I’ve made up for that since then. I own roughly 1,000 DVDs and most are horror, scifi, and exploitation films.

I picked up The Secret Life of a Satanist about Anton Szandor LaVey when I was a Sophomore in High School. From there I read the rest of LaVey’s works and then went on to study psychology, philosophy, politics, sociology, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and everything that interested me.

Interviewer: Did you hold to any common misconceptions, myths or stereotypes?

Venger Satanis: I don’t think so. I knew I was entering unknown territory. That both frightened and elated me, heightening my senses. I went in with an open mind.

Interviewer: During your studies, what was an important or profound lesson or discovery for you?

Venger Satanis: That reality wasn’t fixed; it was malleable. As soon as I read that, it immediately resonated with me and became the building blocks for my own personal development.

I realized, too, that consciousness filtered reality – my senses collected and interpreted data – but a higher conscious state could also be used to alter my subjective reality deliberately. There is a strong, magical connection between subjective and objective reality. One can influence the other, given enough energy and focus.

Interviewer: What appealed to you about LHP and Satanism, in particular?

Venger Satanis: Being able to shape my destiny. It didn’t hurt that I was attracted to all the aesthetics of Satanism since my childhood – from monster coloring books to heavy metal videos. To this day, if I’m looking at blondes in black leather bikinis, blood spattered skulls, flaming swords, foreboding castles, or monstrous tentacled fiends – I get a charge.

Interviewer: How has it changed you? What parts of your life does it influence?

Venger Satanis: I was born this way, so I don’t know if it has actually changed me – except that I’ve continued to travel deeper, certainly opening up a few more doors. The stuff I’m into influences most of my life. Even when I’m at the poker table or watching The Big Bang Theory with my wife… there’s an influence.

Interviewer: There are many people that confess an uneasiness with or hostility towards LHP. Why do you think that is?

Venger Satanis: Either they don’t fully understand the LHP or they are afraid of going against the universe (God). I don’t blame them for being uneasy. As a species, we’re generally not that comfortable with the unknown.

Interviewer: If there were dangers to studying LHP, what do you think it is? Why do you think it exists and what advice would you give to new practitioners?

Venger Satanis: Too much self-love. That’s always a danger. To put it another way, over-inflated ego. When a person thinks there’s nothing left to learn, that they know it all and encompass all that is awesome – watch out! That dude is going in the wrong direction.

My advice is to laugh at yourself every once in awhile. Realize that you’re on the road to perfection, but you still have a long ways to go. Achieving Godhood takes decades of constant and tremendous effort. The individual must be guided by a conscious school.

Interviewer: There are many people that adapt H.P Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos or believe it a true telling. Why do you think that is?

Venger Satanis: I’m sure they adapt Lovecraft’s stories and create their own original works within the Cthulhu Mythos because of the sheer magnitude of Lovecraft’s cosmic horror. Those in the Cult of Cthulhu see HPL as a prophet. Obviously, not every word should be taken as gospel. Nevertheless, there are deeper truths in his prose; a profundity which 99% of scifi/horror writers cannot match.

Interviewer: Why did you embrace H.P Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos for the Cult of Cthulhu?

Venger Satanis: The Cthulhu Mythos is an artificial paradigm. Lovecraft is obscure, but many have heard of him. The Mythos hints at thousands of nightmarish secrets, yet it doesn’t give too much away. The Mythos has influenced and been influenced by such things as Satanism, black magic, and the LHP.

We should keep in mind that not all Cthulhu Mythos media is consciously aware of H.P. Lovecraft. If the Mythos comes from an external source – something beyond Lovecraft, then it’s easy to see that sensitive writers, musicians, and artists are creating stuff on their own – without realizing there’s a name which encompasses all that hideous blasphemy: Lovecraftian!

No surprise why I chose Lovecraft’s Mythos for the Cult of Cthulhu. “The Call of Cthulhu” might just be the greatest weird tale every written. Why not use that for the basis of a new religion?

Interviewer: You adapted several other structures, works and beliefs for the Cult of Cthulhu. Can you explain a few important points of each of them?

Venger Satanis: My interpretation of the Left Hand Path continues where Stephen Flowers’ book, Lords of the Left Hand Path leaves off. I define it as the struggle for Autonomy, Power, and Self-Deification.

The Fourth Way, as taught by Gurdjieff and Ouspensky, is my way of connecting with or realizing those LHP goals. The Fourth Way explains how we’re asleep, a collection of oblivious ‘I’s, and how little control we have.

Using the LHP and the Fourth Way, I’ve been able to see the parallels between Buddhism, Christianity, Satanism, Chaos Magic, Thelema, and other belief systems. They each have something to offer.

Interviewer: Why did you think it important to adapt more than Satanism into the Cult of Cthulhu?

Venger Satanis: Satanism, on its face, is limited. Unfortunately, most Satanists don’t realize what true Satanism is all about. The movement solidified in the mid-1960’s with Anton LaVey. Before that, Satanism had many different meanings. A lot of information about Satanism came from the Christian church.

LaVey and his Church of Satan allowed people’s imaginations to go wild. Some viewed Satan as a dark force in nature, others saw him as an extra-terrestrial being or adversary to Jehovah, and a few conceived of him only as a metaphor.

That’s why today, there’s no general consensus on what exactly Satanism is and what makes a Satanist. There are a few authorities, but at the end of the day everyone is free to decide what Satanism means to them.

With all that baggage, it’s no wonder why I wanted a paradigm somewhat divorced from Satanism. I needed something dark, primal, alien, and outrageous. It needed to resonate emotionally and intellectually. Satanism has a similar vibe, but Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos is a purer distillation of those adjectives.

Interviewer: Why do you think Satanism is limited?

Venger Satanis: Satanism, by it’s very nature, is based upon or rooted in Satan.  We could argue about what Satan is for a good long while, but at the end of the day it comes back to Christianity.  My understanding of Satanism, back when I still identified as a dyed-in-the-wool Satanist, tried to separate itself from Christianity as much as possible.  I didn’t want my religion defined by what it opposes.  Satanism is reactionary, but if that’s all it is, then it fails.  Too many Satanists are content with reacting to Christianity.  
 
The Cult of Cthulhu is active, not reactive.  It’s about the Great Old Ones, unspeakable oaths, unquiet voids, hideous sanity-shattering secrets, and magic as black as the yawning gulfs beyond time and space.  Our religion has no limitations.  That makes it demonstrably superior to Satanism.

Interviewer: What inspired you to establish the Cult of Cthulhu?

Venger Satanis: I’ve always felt like a natural leader. I like teaching and helping people. There was a need for more direction, authority, and leadership within the Left Hand Path. Additionally, I had a lot of strange ideas that were coming together in such a way that I needed to give them a platform… to see my incongruous intuitions take shape.

I had created a few Satanic organizations before… with marginal success. I looked around – realized that no one had created a group called the Cult of Cthulhu or Cthulhu Cult. I decided that it was high time someone did.

Interviewer: What are your hopes for it? What future plans do you have?

Venger Satanis: My hopes for the Cult of Cthulhu: seeing our religion Awaken as many individuals as possible. To free man from the prison that is himself. And then, Dread Cthulhu willing, the Great Old Ones shall be loosed upon the earth once more.

Interviewer: How do you think humans imprison themselves?

Venger Satanis: If humans have no control, then there is no freedom.  The lack of freedom equates to imprisonment.  Once upon a time, I used to believe that I had control over my life.  I woke up from that dream years ago.

Interviewer: What do you hope people take away from studying with the Cult of Cthulhu?

Venger Satanis: A better understanding of themselves and their place within this universe. Cultists have a certain way of doing things. We try to examine a problem from all sides, weighing it carefully, considering all the ramifications, going back to study it again and again – a thousand times, if needed. That’s our strength.

Interviewer: Ultimately, what do you think the Cult of Cthulhu gives and teaches people?

Venger Satanis: Hope of seeing the world as it truly is; not how we perceive it. Those who are driven to make progress and evolve… they are the ones who might benefit from our viridescent teaching.

Becoming God is the ultimate prize. I intend to claim it. Some follow in my footsteps.

Interviewer: You wanted people to see the world as it truly is. How do you see it? How is the world as it truly is?
Venger Satanis: I’ll give you a brief example.  For the rest, I suggest the reader investigate the Cult of Cthulhu.
 
People indulge in their negative emotions, expressing them all the time.  They live on them – more than you would ever guess.  But at what cost?  Negative emotions = McDonald’s food.  How great is life going to be if we’re slowly poisoning ourselves?
Acknowledgements:

I would like to offer thanks to Venger Satanis for allowing an interview. He answered each question with careful consideration and deep thought. The interview was intellectually stimulating and very enjoyable. He surprised me with his intelligence, courteousness and desire to help others.

Further Reading:

The Cult of Cthulhu – Venger Satanis

Resources:

The Right Hand Path and The Left Hand Path – About.com

The Right Hand Path vs. The Left Hand Path – Thoughts.com

The Right and Left Hand Paths – Wikipedia.com

H.P Lovecraft Archives

Satanism – Religious Tolerance

The Fourth Way – PDF Document from Firehead.org

Chaos Magick – Chaos Matrix.org

A Vampire Investigates the Paranormal

Posted: Saturday, 24 December, 2011 by deacongray in Uncategorized

(A interview with Gigi Frost, Vampire, Psychic, and paranormal investigator)

“Like one, that on a lonesome road
 Doth walk in fear and dread,
 And having once turned round walks on,
 And turns no more his head;
 Because he knows, a frightful fiend
 Doth close behind him tread.”

If that is the case, then this section comes from The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

It is not often you meet someone like  Gigi Frost.  A woman who is bold in the face of life and death, a person who seeks out what most people run away from. Gigi Forst is  a Paranormal Forensic Photographer/Investigator for Tri-City Paranormal based out of Petersburg, Va. and she been in the Paranormal field for 23 years. 

 She is currently working on my B.S in Criminal Justice – of interest Forensic Photography / Investigator, she is a Master Hypnotist, and has studied Neuro Linguistics Programming, Parapsychologist working in communications, transitions, EVP’s, Photography analyzes, and on going study of demonology.


Does the group you work with do anything for money?

No, the group does not charge money for paranormal investigation and when I work alone I do not charge either. I personal do not charge, because I feel it’s my duty on this earth to help other’s with whatever this gift is that has been given to me.
How does that work exactly the paranormal investigations? Is it just a hobby?.
Oh No, it’s never been a hobby – my hobby is drawing or horseback riding.

To pay the bills I work as an accountant and HR for a heat treating firm in Virginia. But my real job is a paranormal photographer and investigator, which I do not charge for. No it’s not a hobby it’s my life, my passion to help the living and those who have passed on.

There have been other Vampires in the paranormal investigation field, most of them seem to keep the two aspects apart, So do you feel there is any benefit to being a vampire in this field?
Yes, I do feel that being a vampire is a benefit in the paranormal field and for several reasons.


1. By my vampire nature, I’m very nocturnal. I do not want to come across to your readers and Ann Rice novel, but the truth of the matter is that my senses are extremely heightened at night.


2. Depending on if I’m working with a team of investigators or on my own will determine How I work a paranormal investigation. If you play with another team, I play by their rules. If I’m on my own, then hats off and I can communicate in any fashion I see fit depending on the type of spirit I’m working with. If the spirit is malevolent, then I’m now its worst nightmare and they do try to hide. Depending n the spirit will depend on how they are handled.


The other issue is feeding during those hours which can be tricky, but I have had enough experience to know to have my main feeding before all night investigation. Unless, I’m traveling with a group then I bring what I need with me and if all else fails, we all go out for dinner and I order my lamb or Filet mignon blue, which is simply raw and warmed. I once tried to fit in with a group by eating sea food and well I was sick all night. That will never happen again.

When did you start communicating with spirits?
I have been communicating with the dead since I was a small child. The earliest remembrance was the age of five, but my mother has told me it started much earlier than that. Communicating with those whose have left the physical world, including animals and things that were never human. It’s my belief that those things that are not human sometimes appear as what some call shadow people. There are many types of shadow people, and some are nothing more than human’s who are no longer in their physical body. Some shadow people are things that have never been human and are from a belly of evil.

How do you know what you are experiencing is real?
It’s simple and I’ll try to explain: Just like you, or anyone else, can sense the presence of someone walking up behind you, or sense if someone is upset when they may not appear to be on the outside, you can still pick up on that there is something wrong. Well, I can sense if a spirit is male, female, child or other more dark things that want to do harm. It’s hard to explain, but for me it’s as if they are standing in front of me and I know what their intentions are without them telling me.

I know this from communicating with many different types of spirits – But the ones I’m referring to are those dark evil shadow like people whom have never been human. They pray on small children, the sick, elderly, weak and impressionable and those who know about them and the dealing in the spiritual world.

I had my first run in at the age of five years of age and it continued off and on until my late twenties. I have never gone into detail about the events with anyone it’s too hard to talk about. But I what I can tell you is that it’s the main reason I do what I do today in the paranormal field.


They have one job and that is to take the souls. No they are not the grim reaper, which is Azreal the father of death; really he is the accountant for all souls between heaven and hell. He was commissioned and it was agreed upon by both the powers that be in Heaven and Hell (But that is for another time).


These evil shadow like people simply do not like the fact that those who have been blessed with a very special gift know about them, You see those like myself they cannot hide from, they cannot make out like they are a child – basically they cannot wear sheep’s clothing around those like myself. Therefore, I make their job a lot more difficult; because I can also send them back where they came from.

So where is it that these spirits come from exactly, are they dangerous?
Mr. Gray, they are from the belly of evil. It’s the same place that the Cerberus come from. Some call it Hell, Anglo-Saxon called it Helan, Behelian (which means to hide), or in Latin Inferno. But, I must digress from the language origins of such things and get back to our main topic.

Let me make something very clear- some do not believe in a heaven or a hell, or even in spirit of any kind and in many parts of the world they are know by many different names. But, if anyone goes into paranormal research or investigation thinking that hunting for ghost is cool and fun because they see it on TV, they will be completely unprepared. Being uneducated spirits and the afterlife they are going to be in for a very rude awaking and possible life threatening situations, not just for themselves but for a family that might be occupying a home they are investigating.

Life Threatening, how exactly are they life threatening?
Depending on what spirit you are dealing with you can get hurt. Do not let anyone tell you a ghost cannot hurt you. If anyone tells you this, this is not a person you want to do an investigation with. Ghost (not demons) can hit, scratch, punch, kick, and toss things at you and depending on what they are throwing at you – well if you’re not quick you will get hit and it might hurt.


Let me be clear not all ghost have attitude problems, but some do. Remember this: If someone is nasty and violent in this world, when they die they are still nasty and violate in the spirit world. I have seen death soften some, but not by much..

Are you kind of like an exorcist, or perhaps King Solomon like Demonologist?
Interesting that you used the King Solomon reference, that is one of my all time favorites. Again I will digress (oh, I do love that book though)
I would not claim to be a Demonologist, but more of a specialist on the matter and on spirit’s. It’s not something I just one day decided I was going to do. I have been communicating with spirits for 39 years and working in the field professionally for 29 years and I’m 44 years of age. I have dedicated my whole life to this – only to better understand what I experienced and continue to experience. This is not something you just learn everything there is to learn in the field in four to twelve years. This is a lifelong path, which encompasses a deep spiritual relationship a higher power of one’s self. Anyone who tells you that they know it all in this particular field are full of themselves and are the ones who are most likely to get hurt. I do not think of myself as “a know it all” and I’ll be the first to say I don’t know it all. But I sure as heck would not be in a dark haunted location with a person who claims to know it all either.

So how is it done exactly?

Many people or groups do it in different ways. Some use mediums or psychics to communicate with the dead. I have personally like combining the two, speaking with the spirit asking them to appear in photo’s and helping me with EVP’s. This does two things: From a scientific point of view you have the evidence on audio and camera and it also provides information that I am communicating with said spirit and vice versa.

Ok so you are a Medium of sorts, do you have other skills that help you in this field?

I am a Hypnotist as well. So for example if I’m in a session I incorporate communicating with the dead with a hypnosis session. Now, as we all should know spirit does not just jump through hoops. However, when I’m am blessed to have a spirit who is connecting to my hypnosis client the spirit helps me in getting a suggestion across to the subconscious of a client to help them stop smoking, lose weight, ect… About six years ago I had gone to a clients home to help get her and her sister on a healthy eating life style. I had both clients in a relaxed state and I was giving positive suggestions to the subconscious for eating healthy and living a healthy life.
I suddenly got this feeling a spirit entered the room. I opened my eyes and noticed a very nice looking young male, about 18 -19 years of age standing behind the two sisters. He was wearing a yellow shirt with a tie and khaki pants. I continued to give the two sisters positive suggestions, while this young male spirit started telling me he was killed in a car accident. He wanted her to know that he was with her, and for her to start living healthy. He wanted me to know that his mother had just undergone breast cancer treatment, and it was important that she take better care of herself. His conversation seemed to last an hour, but in reality it was just a moment.

That must have been an interesting post hypnosis conversation.

After the hypnosis session I was left with the question of how to approach the client with such a sensitive subject? So, I just said “I have a question to ask you and I know it may seem strange, but this happens sometimes to me and it’s my job to give you a message”


I went on to ask her if she know a young male in about 18 or 19, in a yellow shirt, tie and tan khaki’s? Client replied “Yes, that was is my son”. Now of course now she wants to know how I know that. So I have to tell her the truth, that sometimes people who have past who have an important message will come through to me and I have the heavy task of giving them the message. Keep in mind, she never once told me of her just finishing Treatment for breast cancer. I then told her “your son, wants you to know that he has been with you through your cancer treatments and wants you to start living a healthy life style not for him but for herself. It was very emotional, because she knew she had never told me about the cancer nor her son. I asked her a how he died (even though I know it was a car accident, but no details, simply because the details were not important to him only getting a message to his mother. The client told me that he was graduating high school and that on his way home from the graduation he was hit by a drunk driver in another vehicle.

So do you work as a Medium often?
I do not know and not sure if there is a true term for the gift’s that I have, all I do is that I’ve been labeled as clairvoyant. I have been asked to communicate via my gifts. In fact before moving to Virginia in November of 2010 I was called regularly to use my gifts and my skills as a paranormal photographer to gather information at a haunted location (Which I’m happy to also provide you with photo’s for the article.) However, since moving to Virginia and working with a paranormal group which is strictly a scientific based group and the use of mediums or psychic’s is something they would not do, so I try to play by their rules. In fact, they do not really believe in such things and I have kept my gift’s a secret from them.

Is it hard to keep your gifts to yourself in a spiritually active place?
I’m really feel like I’m only hurting myself by doing so. It can be a little difficult simply because the spirit knows that I can see, hear, and smell, ect – so I have to lay down some ground rules before each investigation. Those ground rules are communicate with me via EVP’S, photo’s and recording camera’s only, that their existence can be proven and documented.

Ok so what exactly is EVP and what does it do?
Using, EVP (Electronic voice phenomenon), which is simply a high powered digital voice recorder. You can use any voice recorder including the old school tape recorders. I like the digital because the internal mechanics within the device make fewer noses and is a plus in reviewing the possible evidence later. What this does is it allows audible voices that can not be heard normally by the human ear to be picked up on the recorder and then later played back so that you can hear them. It’s a method that from a scientific view point gives validity to spirit communication.

Do you use other specialized equipment?
I also use my trusted 35 mm digital Nikon D 3000 with a high powered Full spectrum flash, which is also a lot of fun when dealing with the speed of light and the use of a camera and spirit – but normally if I ask them to let me take a picture they do. However, some are camera shy too – lol, there are just human sprits even out of the human shell after all –

I have loads more about the technical end of the equipment that I use for scientific purposes, but I don’t want to bore you with technical details.

How many investigations have you been on?
I have done thousands of paranormal investigation

In any of those time has there been any that really scared you, or that you find particularly memorable?
I was not frightened, but I have been pushed down a flight of stairs, chocked, had a child spirit goose me in my ribs, had the sheets and covers stripped off me in the middle of the night and I have been literally dragged out of bed, tossed across a room, pinned down, scratched, cut and even had what I can only describe to you as if my soul was being taken from my human vessel. But the most memorable was while visiting a friend’s home in Texas. He and his wife invited me to come over for a visit. I know their places had four different generation of spirit’s that lived there.


At one point my face started to hurt, I felt as if I was being chocked, then my mouth, gums started hurting very badly. My gums started bleeding. When I tell you my gums where bleeding I do not mean a little blood, I mean my whole mouth was dripping blood and It would not stop. I started communicating with a male spirit (not a demon) that had a hate for females. Long story short, I had to leave my friends home in order to stop the bleeding and go back to the hotel to change clothing. Later than night at dinner my friend and his wife told me the story of this spirit that I was communicating with. This male spirit in the mid 1800’s was a traveling sales man and a drunk. He came home from a trip one afternoon and beat his wife to death with a flat iron skillet, which he did so by bashing her face in and crushing her head like a tomato.
Yes, I did go back the next day and laid down some very heavy laws on this nasty little spirit. But I will never forget that one.

I live by a few rules when dealing with these nasty little things – Sometimes you have to leave and come back and that’s alright – a person’s safety is important. But the number one rule is you DO NOT EVER RUN from anything. You stand your ground and when you do you better be damn sure you are true to your convictions.


I try to tell people whom I’ve done investigations with not to run (so many do), It’s my biggest pet peeve. When you are in a haunted location and if you do get frightened and run – you might not only hurt yourself, but the people working with you. If you have to run, run towards it not from it.

 

I want to thank you for your time and the chance to interview you, I think like myself many of the people in the community will find your words interesting and informative.


.